The Strawberry Swing

2012 Week Six: Beachy Keen & Big Plans

2012-02-11T12:49:00.005-05:00

After finally getting my acceptance letter from UGA, I have to admit, I have been riding pretty high. It has been hard to care about the current semester (except for the fact that I want to keep that magna cum laude distinction) and I even forgot to turn in a discussion assignment on time!

I kicked off week six by heading to Panama City Beach Monday afternoon to spend a little time with my mom, who was there on a business trip. Her hotel, the Holiday Inn Resort was right on the water on Front Beach Road! Even though it was still crisp and breezy, I loved being able to walk on the beach, dig my toes in the sand, and get back to my roots. For most of my life, I grew up in Cali with beautiful beaches just minutes away. I could see the ocean from my backyard, I collected sand crabs and sea kelp, and floated in the water until I was red as a lobster. The one thing I have missed so much while living in the south is the ocean! The salty smell in the air, the breeze, and the sound of the waves. I know I will probably never live very near the beach again (unless of course Mr. Big & I decide to one day retire on one???) so I was glad to make a trip to the beach while I am still only 2 hours away from it. In 6 months, I will be soaking up the sun somewhere different - the lawns of North Campus!!!

These days - I am divided and all over the place. My heart is far away with Mr. Big, my feet are in Tallahassee, and my head is in Athens. Sometimes they all switch places, leaving me extra confused. Despite my excitement to return to the Classic City, I know I will shed some tears for the friends and memories I am leaving behind in the Capital City. I have loved my Bulldog family here, my FSU friends, and my work family. I will miss them all - and the Kraken (our office's Keurig) too!! Even when you are traveling a path you are excited about, goodbye is never fun and I hope that the people I love here in Tally will stay in my life as I move forward.

As a military brat, I am no stranger to moving. There are good things and bad things about wanderlust. I hate looking for boxes. They never seem to be the right size. I have a million books which I don't plan on getting rid of and they will break the backs of all of us who have to carry them during the move. There is always one box which is "leftover shit" that you throw in it right before the truck pulls away. No one knows how the contents of this box never got packed with the other shit, but it always happens. And rather unfortunately, sometimes you lose a box during moving, the contents of which will never be seen again (ex: moving trip circa 2008 in which a box containing all of my t-shirts fell off the truck spurring me to start a "new" t-shirt collection).

The fun? Shopping for new furniture (I might actually buy my first official living room set - on a payment plan, of course), sitting around a half empty apartment eating pizza on the floor and laughing about the good and bad times you have had there, the adventure of hitting the road with all your belongings in tow, and the day you lay down a new door mat in front of a new home. This 2012 move will be 27th move in my 27th year. I have seen a lot of places, met a lot of people, and I am better for it...

I leave you with this sweet Valentine, as the holiday approaches. Who could resist that face?

Change...

2012-02-03T23:31:00.003-05:00

"People get up every day, tell themselves they're gonna change their lives. They never do. I'm gonna change mine. Why don't you do it with me?"
[the town]

You mean so much more to me than you will ever know...

Better things...

2012-02-01T19:46:00.004-05:00

2012 did NOT start with a bang. I rang mine in curled up on a couch, far away from Mr. Big and all my friends. UGA lost their bowl game. I applied to UGA's PhD program in November and by mid-January, I was still waiting. My luck with Mr. Big wasn't any better as he was going through tough times too. Nothing we were going through was that bad. We'd been through worse, no doubt. But happy and content weren't words I'd have used to describe us. I was shopping A LOT, which is never a good sign.

Saturday. On the phone with my mom. After another date with the mall and a new pair of jeans. "You have a letter here from UGA.... it says.... official acceptance...." On January 28th I got the official best news of 2012, thus far anyway! Dear little blog, I have been accepted to the University of Georgia's Institute of Higher Education to begin work on my PhD in August. UGA's Higher Education program is currently ranked #5 in the nation by US News and World Report (see HERE). At my October open house visit, I loved the students, the faculty, and fell in love with Athens all over again. As if I ever stopped! Saturday night I was all smiles as I broke the news to my friends, family, and of course, Big. I felt little pangs in my heart as I told him my good news, knowing that he was waiting for good news of his own. On Monday I told him that I was sure more good news was on the way, because after all, we always have good luck (& bad luck) at the same time...

And today, he got some great news of his very own. I felt so proud of both of us and so vindicated and validated as we shared that happy moment (thank you Al Gore for inventing the internet so we could do that). So Marilyn, you were right - Sometimes things fall apart so that better things can fall together. I can't wait to celebrate in person with my fav. I cannot think of a more deserving person for good news and great opportunities than him. Except maybe me too! Me too! Nothing is better than having one of your dreams or goals come true, except sharing that with your love and having his goals come true too!!! I'm on cloud nine and I don't feel like there's a thing in this world that could make 2012 anything but a great year for both of us!

Sunny Side Up!

2012-02-01T19:21:00.004-05:00

I made this. It looks so delish & gourmet. Truthfully, it was fast, easy & cheap. And so easy to make for just one person.

- 1 English Muffin (Whole Grain)
- Olive oil mayo with cracked pepper
- Fresh basil
- Fresh spinach leaves
- Four slices of bacon
- Two slices of tomato
- Two poached eggs
-Salt & pepper to taste
- Shaved Parmesan

Split & toast your muffin, spread lightly with olive oil mayo, layer slightly wilted basil and spinach, tear bacon slices in half and divide evenly between muffins. Top with tomato slices and salt and pepper tomatoes. Top tomatoes with poached eggs. Salt and pepper to taste and sprinkle with shave parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

Little to no clean-up, prep or effort and GREAT flavor!

Oh my heart, be still...

2012-01-31T22:33:00.005-05:00

Oh my. While looking up antique stores to visit in Thomasville, I stumbled across the website for a store called "Relics." On the site, there was a link to a blog called "Junkin' 4 You," http://relicsthomasville.blogspot.com/. Whilst perusing, I came across this adorable find that STOLE my heart. This pillow has the most loving message, which given the chance, is exactly what I would say to "my fav" as he is affectionately dubbed.

Sweet Darling,
If there is ever a tomorrow when we are not together there is something you must always remember: you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think, but most important of all, even if we are apart, I'll always be with you. xoxo

2012 Week Four: Pre-Grad Boredom & Blues

2012-01-26T21:40:00.006-05:00

What to write?! This week, nothing has changed or is new. Still waiting, waiting & more waiting. I had big plans for Friday that I thought would divert my attention, and when those were cancelled, I had to get out of the house and do what else ... spend money! TJ Maxx, Lilly P., and Hobby Lobby were all on the list before drinks and dinner with my friend. At Hobby Lobby, I picked up super cheap supplies to make the project you see to the right. I originally got this brainy idea from every woman's new obsesh - Pinterest. (See my boards here: http://pinterest.com/miss_meggo/) The blogger who came up with the tutorial and original did hers in the style of Shabby Chic, but I chose a flame which was more reflective of my bathroom's blue/brown French theme. See the tutorial here: http://www.kevinandamanda.com/whatsnew/house-and-home/tutorial-shabby-chic-dangly-earring-display.html. The total supplies for this cost me $10 at Hobby Lobby and I have plenty of wire left over. The frame was the most expensive part and it was 50% off. Of course you can choose a simpler and cheaper frame, but I loved the faux baroque style of this one. So yes, in case you were wondering, Pinterest is useful and the ideas ARE realistic. I also made a Pinterest recipe this week for work, Funfetti Cake Batter Dip which was a huuuuuge success. Check that recipe here: http://www.adventures-in-food.com/2011/11/funfetti-cake-batter-dip.html. I recommend serving it with apple slices and vanilla wafers. Some of my coworkers said the dip was so yummy, they just wanted to eat it plain with a spoon!!

What else have I been up to, you ask? Feeling rather Tim the Tool Man Taylor I unclogged my drain tonight. Disgusting. Truly disgusting. But easier than calling maintenance at my shitty, overpriced apartment complex. By the way, if you ever live in Tallahassee, don't live at Azalea Place. They suck balls. Big hairy monkey ones. I have also seen a couple movies - in the theatre, and from Blockbuster. DO SEE Contraband, Planet of the Apes: Rise of the Apes, and The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. All full of action and suspense. You will never look at the Golden Gate Bridge the same after you watch Rise of the Apes. I promise. Contraband = Mark Wahlberg doing what he does best. No, not rapping! Kicking major ass. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a multi-layered film with tons of suspenseful story lines and some uber graphic sex scenes. Very smart and totally worth watching, but you won't walk out feeling light and fluffy. DON'T SEE Bridesmaids. Who said this movie was amazing? Who said it was funny? It is an absolutely realistic portrayal of the total bedlam that ensues when people decide to tie the knot. Overpriced dresses, parties with too much estrogen in the room, ridiculously extravagant Bachelorette parties, and women competing and driving each other nuts. Oh, and women hanging out with men that suck. It's so realistic, it's almost horrifying. I didn't laugh much and in fact, I honestly wanted to cry from watching the painful truth of what weddings and female friends are like - A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS.

Not Easy...

2012-01-24T20:47:00.004-05:00

I have been through lots of tough things and ups and downs in my life. Job searches, life changes, moves, putting myself through grad school. Nothing tops losing my heart to man. I pine, I perish. It's absolute bedlam. It has turned me upside down and inside out... and because I never seem to say or do the right things, I write down my thoughts here. God help me if anyone is actually reading this other than me.

I have said a hundred times that I never saw any of this coming. When I met you, I never would have guessed that you would be the one person to change me the most. Even over the many years we've known each other, it took a long time before we became something special to each other. Now you are my best friend. I don't know if I am yours but you are mine. And for the first time, I love someone more than I love myself. I have never wanted to please and take care of someone more than I do you. It's so hard sometimes to not worry about the future. You think I am independent and strong and will be fine without you. Losing you would be the biggest heartbreak of my life. It is the thing I am most scared of. Every day I wish that I will be everything you want and admire and need. You are that for me. I am sorry for the things that I do and say wrong but nothing has ever meant as much to me as you. I will always love you as much as I do right now.

2012 Week Three: Holding Pattern

2012-01-21T13:12:00.005-05:00

Week three was a frustrating, non-productive type of week. Being off on a Monday always throws everyone and I felt like the entire week just stalled along. I have officially submitted my first post-Master's (almost) job application while still waiting to hear back about my PhD application. It's a long shot and if I get accepted to the PhD program, I most likely won't be interested, but I figured that fortune favors the bold, so why not?

Coursework for my last semester is progressing and I'm just trying to stay ahead of the game. It is definitely hard to focus on getting a lot out of an assignment when I have so much else on my mind! Personally, I am waiting to see how the rest of my year (and life!) will unfold. Again, it's all about patience or my lack thereof! I have begun amusing myself with small projects around the house: organizing my shoes, cleaning out my storage closet, and organizing the yogurt in my fridge according to the expiration date. Yes... that actually happened. Anything in the name of keeping myself sane until I hear about that PhD application.

In other news, like many other lucky Americans, I spent the better part of the week suffering from a fluish cold, or maybe it was a coldish flu? Either way, I have sacked out by at least 10pm every night, including Friday night. No partying for me. I watched The Time Traveler's Wife. Why, oh why, do women love romantic movies? This movie was so disappointing and sappy. It seemed hurried and underdeveloped and all the characters came off as seriously one-dimensional. I was not nearly as entertained by it as I was by Contraband (which I saw at the movies last week). What does that say about me as a woman - that I prefer action-thrillers where people are shooting and stealing to romantic movies with weddings and births? Who knows, who cares. Don't watch Time Traveler's Wife. It sucks. The only thing that stuck with me? The scene where Clare knows that Henry will die that night - she sits in his lap, knowing she will lose him, knowing all they have been through together, takes his face in her hands and says, "I wouldn't change one second of our life together." Ok, that was poignant, especially for me. To the person I treasure, I would say the very same thing.

2012 Week Two: C'est la vie and c'est tout...

2012-01-14T12:00:00.006-05:00

Anything worth having is worth fighting for...

Or that's what people say anyway. Week two of the new year kicked off my fifth, and final, semester at FSU, and I'm beginning to feel that pre-graduation anxiety I always seem to get. Sometimes I still have that childlike mentality - whenever I'm in the midst of something I'm always in a hurry-up offense. I can't wait to get through and press on to the next moment. I find it hard to savor the moment before I begin thinking of the next moment. And so, I've spent most of my time here at FSU thinking of graduation and what would come next. Now that it is so rapidly approaching (just a little over 3 months left) I find myself anxiously wondering just what will happen next. It's going to be one long semester...

I have so many hopes and dreams for what will happen after April 27th and the scariest part of the next three months will be letting go and hoping that all of these things come to fruition. It is so hard for me to trust that things will happen the way they are meant to. All I want to do is step in and be in the driver's seat. But my dreams involve the will of other people and so, everything isn't up to me.

& because I don't have the guts to say this to who I need to, I'm venting here: When I first met you, I knew you were special and different than anyone else I had ever met. Right away, I felt like you were looking right through me and could see things that other people couldn't. But even knowing all that, I had no idea how important you would one day become to me and how much you would change my life. Sometimes I took you for granted and didn't see the amazing person you are. Every step in our relationship has been a challenge and sometimes I am sad and frustrated. But the truth is those moments are few and far between compared to how happy you have made me. I am happier in my life with you now, than I have ever been. I know that it is wrong for me to not just live in the moment with you and be happy for every second we have. I do understand that every day we have together is one more than we deserve. But because I care about you so much, I can't help but dream and hope and wish for a future that has you in it. When I am jealous or complain about the time we have, I know it seems selfish. Those feelings come from the most unselfish part of me though. You see, being with you has made me better than I could ever be on my own. I am my best when I am with you and I know that I would never be where I am today without your kindness and guidance and support. I want so much more for us because I want to give back to you what you have given to me. One day, I hope I will have a chance to show you how wonderful you are every day. Sometimes I do feel like you take me for granted and forget I think about you every day in everything I do. But I know you have a good heart. I hope that you will be able to forgive me for my impatience and that our relationship will continue to grow. Most of all, I hope you find everything in life that makes you happy.

New Year's Resolutions Progress

To catch up from last week, I made 4 resolutions and I made sure that week two was used to further those goals.

1. Weight loss goal. Back in November I kicked off my weight loss campaign with a goal of 30 lbs total. By Christmas break, I had lost 8 lbs toward that goal. Over the break, I gained 2 lbs back. I am now down to my pre-Christmas weight minus a pound. So that means we are 21 lbs from goal.

2. Return FSU library books. I am happy to report that this goal is fully accomplished. On Wednesday I lugged all seven books on Notre Dame and Catholic universities into my office, packed them up into envelops and sent them through campus mail to the circulation desk. All seven books are now clear from my library account which is good news, because I had begun to suspect that if I did not return them, FSU might not send me my diploma!! ;)

3. Pay off my credit card. No progress here. I just received my electronic W2 so hopefully I will be able to begin work on my taxes in early February when I have all the required documents. Then, instead of buying myself a treat (like I usually do) I intend to use to total of my refund toward paying off the card. So here's to hoping for a fatty refund!!

2012 Week One: Wildcards & Wonderful Things

2012-01-07T17:51:00.009-05:00

After Christmas 2011, I have decided that people need to come up with a new word for trips that you take with your family. Oh no Meg, you say, we already have the word "vacation." The dictionary says vacation is "freedom or release from duty, business, or activity," adding that it is usually used for "rest or recreation." At 26, traveling with your parents is anything but restful or free from duty. And thusly... my New Year's Resolutions for 2012.

Lose weight. I had a total goal of 30 lbs. I lost 8 in 2011, so I have 22 to go. For inspiration and motivation, I make fat faces at myself in the mirror and look at Victoria's Secret swimsuits online...
Return my overdue library books. In 2010, I checked out approximately 6 books from FSU's Strozier Library. As of 2012, they are in my coat closet. I have renewed them as many times as possible simply because I am too lazy to go to the inconveniently located "Stroz." Seeing as I checked these books out during my first semester of grad school, I think I should probably return them sometime before I graduate.
Pay off my credit card. This means no more compulsive shopping.
Make my own traditions. Dear reader, if you're anything like me, you're awkward. I'm not a mommy, so on holidays I'm fretfully confused about what to do with my time. I'm not a kid anymore so I don't have to do what my family does, but I don't have kids of my own so I don't have any meaningful holiday routines or traditions. No more family "vacations" for Meg. Time to grow up and make my own plans!

With my resolutions eliminating indulgent buys and bags of Doritos and adding one long walk to Strozier, it might sound like I've abandoned my hedonist ways. Fear not - I have lots of fun plans for the new year and started my weekend with an impromptu trip to see someone special. Lesson one of the new year: sometimes we imagine great things and sometimes reality is even better than what we have imagined.

Fall 2011 left me too busy and frazzled to play Fantasy Football. Without the motivation of a team to manage, I kept up with the season sporadically. As a Colts fan, there wasn't much for me to keep up with anyhow. (Playoffs?! Don't talk about the playoffs!!) But what's so great about the NFL is the playoffs. You can fart around all season and not pay attention and then jump back in at the last minute. Now I'm not making predictions based on my extensive knowledge of the seasons of these teams, I'm just tossing out who I'm pulling for and why:

Wildcard Weekend:

Bengals v. Texans (Currently in progress...)
My pick:

Why? Tons of former UGA players including Geno Atkins and AJ Green.

Lions v. Saints
My pick:

Why? I'd love to call the Lions (and UGA product Matt Stafford) for the upset, but Drew Brees is a beast.

Steelers v. Broncos
My pick:

Why? I love anyone that beats Tim Tebow, especially former Bulldog, Hines Ward. Sorry Knowshon, but you play with the devil...

Falcons v. Giants
My pick:

I'll probably wear my Falcons shirt (circa last year's playoffs) but I don't expect that my hometown team won't choke in this early round, just like last year. Plus, they're up against a Manning...

The final countdown...

2011-12-18T10:49:00.002-05:00

I have neglected you, dear blog. It has been a busy fall semester. This fall I took Strategic Management, Institutional Advancement, and Legal Aspects of Higher Education. It has been a semester full of learning about my direction for the future and while I originally thought Legal Aspects would be my favorite class, I have learned that I have a natural knack for fundraising and earned a perfect final score in my Institutional Advancement class. It seems that my future in higher education may have more to do with money than I ever imagined! My own personal skills for managing money are a bit lackluster so I never imagined I would become so interested in the finances of Higher Education. But here we are!

In October I returned to my beloved alma mater, UGA, where I attended an open house for the University of Georgia Institute of Higher Education. I originally planned to apply to four or five PhD programs but after visiting this open house I decided that UGA was again just the right place for me. Visiting a school is the easy part. The graduate school application process is one I do not love and I never feel relaxed until the application is fully complete. So, from late October to the first week of December, I fiddled with my resume, chose the perfect people to serve as references, and tried to flesh out my goals for research as a doctoral candidate. Imagine, ME as a doctoral candidate!?!

Here at Florida State my research interests have been widely varied. I have delved into Catholic higher education, Greek Life, and more. Much to my own chagrin (and that of someone dear to me) I found Greek Life to be a perplexing web of pros and cons about which I was extremely emotional and conflicted. NOT something I want to spend the next 4 years researching!! My research interests became much more concrete in the spring. It all started with a leadership assembly I attended for UGA Alumni Association Chapter Leaders. At that point I knew I loved working with my local chapter, creating programming, and keeping myself and others connected with UGA. At the assembly, there was a presentation on collegiate licensing, which at that point was only a blip on my radar. When I returned to Tallahassee, I found myself needing a topic for my Business Administration class. After tossing around a few ideas, I found myself mentioning the licensing presentation to my professor. It had piqued my interest. How would the growth of licensing and merchandising change the finances of universities? And so began a research paper, which ultimately developed into the topic I will likely research for the next four years, IF I am accepted to UGA.

This fall has been full of learning experiences, both personally and academically. I feel more sure than ever of what I want in the future, but I am still waiting for everything to fall into place. So... wish me luck as the next 4 months fly by!

Are UGA fans rabid and unrealistic?

2011-09-05T11:23:00.005-04:00

The University of Georgia has one of the most storied and colorful traditions in college football. After all, they've been playing football since 1892. Upstarts like USF (est. 1997) just don't know what that's like. Sanford Stadium is the world's 15th largest stadium and UGA regularly lands in the top five grossing schools for collegiate merchandise. According to a report published by CNN Money in December 2010, UGA's football program is the second most profitable in the nation, falling just behind the Texas Longhorns. Read more HERE.

With a recent loss to #5 Boise State in the Chick-Fil-A Kickoff, many Georgia fans have been heard to call for the firing of head coach Mark Richt. There's even a website called FireMarkRicht.net which features a ticker counting the days since UGA's last national championship. Facebook has jumped on the train with their very own Fire Mark Richt page too. Check it out HERE. Is all this negative banter off-base though?

Let's take a look at the master at the helm - Mark Richt (hencforth, I'll refer to him as CMR for Coach Mark Richt). CMR came to the Bulldogs after serving as the offensive coordinator for the Florida State Seminoles under famed Bobby Bowden. He is currently in his tenth season at UGA and has two SEC championships under his belt (2002 and 2005). With a record of 96-35, what are Georgia fans complaining about? Are UGA fans unrealistic, demanding the removal of a coach with this kind of record after a loss to a top 5 team like Boise State?

Maybe not. CMR currently has the longest tenure of any coach in the SEC. Although every season but the last (2010) has garnered 8 wins or more, CMR has been on a steady slip since 2009, accruing more losses each year. Georgia's bowl appearances have become increasingly less prestigious, with the last two being the Independence and Liberty, the latter of which UGA lost. Georgia hasn't made a BCS bowl appearance since 2007, in fact. When you compare this performance with the fact that in the past 3 years, CMR has recruited top 5 classes, something seems to be going wrong up in Athens. If the talent level is so high, why is Georgia on the slide?

While the 2010 season featured only 6 wins, UGA garnered another important honor, the Fulmer Cup. For those unfamiliar, the Fulmer Cup is awarded to the Division I team whose players have the worst criminal record. Points are awarded based on the type of offense and in 2010, UGA finished with a whopping 22 points drawing from arrests for bar brawls, driving on suspended licenses, and more. For the past several seasons, UGA has taken this off-season lack of discipline onto the field becoming one of the most penalized teams in the SEC and nation. Who is responsible for this lack of discipline from recruiting classes that are top 5?

CMR is heavily compensated and motivated to produce winning teams. His contract boasts a $75,000 bonus for a SEC championship appearance and an additional $25,000 for a win. For the past two seasons, Richt has earned only $25,000 for the team's appearances in the Liberty and Independence bowls. Comparitively, if the team appeared in a BCS bowl (non-championship) Richt could earn $100,000. Finishing top 5 in either the coaches or AP poll earns Richt $50,000. His tenure at UGA has also earned him lucrative endorsement contracts with Wheaties and Ford. He currently earns $3,500, 000 as the head coach at UGA. In 2010, the Huffington Post named CMR one of the highest paid NCAA football coaches. There's no need for me to cover the additional perks he receives (like $3600 worth of Nike merchandise per year). It's clear that CMR is well compensated for his services at UGA. Considering the amount of money that CMR is paid, are UGA fans and stakeholders right to expect an 8 win season every year? With a decade at Georgia under his belt, CMR is ranked as having the fifth hottest seat in the nation. In 2009, there were only 12 coaches in the nation with tenure numbering 10+ years. CMR is certainly in a much coveted position as a coach with a decade with one team, but he's also responsible for the first losing season at UGA in 14 years.

If we're looking for precedent for getting fired, Charlie Weis might be a good example. After 3 losing seasons at Notre Dame, Weis was fired and succeeded by brainchild of Cincinnati, Brian Kelly. The question is, does UGA want to endure two more losing seasons before looking for fresh blood? And what kind of damage can three losing seasons do to a football team? Put it this way, I don't want to ask Notre Dame who just lost their home opener to USF in a stadium overlooked by a giant mural of JESUS. That's got to be painful.

Septiembre...

2011-09-05T00:17:00.004-04:00

Is it already here?!? Classes started on the 29th and I am officially 8 months away from my Master's degree! I know those next 8 months will be a whirlwind. There is so much I want to do with my time left in Tally, but I know I need to make time for all my little luxuries I love so much, like wearing jeans to work (hey! I'm a student right now!) and never working on Thursdays and Fridays. Time is always going faster than I want it to, but I'll slow down for a minute and give you a piece of my mind. So here's what 3 things I'm currently obsessed with!

HERE'S WHAT:

1. Ted's Montana Grill's HUCKLEBERRY MARGARITA
Om nom nom. I had this just a few weeks ago with a good friend on my first trip to Ted's. It was sweet, unusual, and I loved the fun name. Classic margaritas seem to have become my foe (hello wild nights that usually end in pukey disgrace) so this sweet concoction was a great alternative. The sugared rim was an added, delicious bonus. Now I just need to learn how to make this at home! Oh, and it made me think of that badass quote from one of the coolest movies ever, Tombstone. Doc Holliday turns around and tells blood-crazed Johnny Ringo that if he's looking for a fight, "I'm your Huckleberry..."

2. Lilly P's Fall line
Last night I dreamt that someone gave me a Lilly P scarf. What a wonderful dream! Bold colors and sweet concoctions (of the fashion sort) have me dreaming about Lilly day and night. Bored moments at work are spent perusing her blog and website and I am in love with her bold fall designs, especially the navy and red combos and print mixing. I have a birthday in about 17 days and I'm thinking something Lilly would be a great present to buy myself! I was even more excited when Lilly paired with the amazingly cool blog Fashionably Bombed (two sisters who come up with chic drink recipes to match chic fashions) for a giveaway. Lilly is just everything I love about preppy Southern fashion. I know that even when I leave behind my college days, I can take something bright and sassy into my professional career... check out Fashionably Bombed HERE!

3. The Script - Nothing
It's only natural that being Irish, I love all things Irish. So whenever a new Irish band pops on the scene, I'm all ears. Who doesn't love U2 or Mumford & Sons? I own The Script's debut album so I was pumped when they started releasing more new music. For the First Time was a great song but right now Nothing is really talking to me. Maybe it's because it's matching up with some personal moments in my life or just because of my self-professed love for all things Irish, but this song has been stuck in my head for weeks...

I'm swearing if I go there now, I can change your mind, turn it all around ... I'm still in love, but all I heard was nothing...

Finger on the pulse...

2011-08-03T09:21:00.012-04:00

As a grad student in a Higher Education Administration program, I try to keep abreast of current issues in higher ed. Social media takes a shellacking for its value at times, but I have found the best way to keep up with news is Twitter. In 160 character tweets, I learn about what's happening around the world and in education. Here are a few current hot button issues in higher ed:

SHOULD WE PAY STUDENT ATHLETES? A few days ago, famed football coach Steve Spurrier suggested we pay athletes in the NCAA out of coaches salaries. Although this might seem generous, most people tend to disagree with this view. One perspective on the issue of student athlete compensation is that they already receive scholarships and other forms of aid. Others contend that this money is not nearly enough and because of strict practice schedules and athletic obligations, athletes don't have time to work a job for extra money. Athletes trying to make a little extra cash have been penalized for this, including AJ Green of the Georgia Bulldogs who sold his jersey to a fan. Although Green returned the money, he was still suspended from games by the NCAA. (Read about recent college athletics scandals here: http://www.gainesvilletimes.com/archives/52877/.) While I disagree with Spurrier's solution to pay athletes a salary, I do agree that compensation is a problem. In an article published today, Saturday Down South offers three potential solutions that you can read about here: http://www.saturdaydownsouth.com/2011/alleviate-pressure-pay-college-athletes/?utm_source=SECfootball&utm_medium=twitter. The third suggestion, which is to restore student athletes' publicity rights is the one I favor. Collegiate Licensing allows universities to profit from the use of a student athlete's likeness (in a video game for example) with no share of the profit going to the student. While I agree with a university's right to protect its marks (logos, colors, slogans) I think that profiting from the likeness of a student is overreaching and contrary to the mission of universities and colleges.
PRINCETON REVIEW: PARTYING A PRIORITY? Just days after the Princeton Review released its 2011 rankings on everything from best campus food, to biggest party schools, everyone is abuzz. Is being labeled the #1 Party School bad press? According to statements from Tom Jackson, UGA's VP for Public Affairs, being the #1 party school results in being inundated with concerned calls from stakeholders, including parents. Jackson also goes on to criticize the veracity of the survey which is a "self-submitted opinion survey by an average of 350 students per school." Some students even believe that having the title of #1 party school could hurt a school's image. How much attention do stakeholders pay to the Princeton Review? With the results being highly publicized every year, administrators can't discount the importance of the survey and as Tom Jackson says, "if you want to brag about the good [rankings], you've got to take the bad ones." Read more here: ( http://redandblack.com/2011/08/03/no-longer-no-party-1-school-not-a-problem-at-all/ )
JUDICIAL PROGRAMS & IN LOCO PARENTIS: HOW FAR IS TOO FAR? Every college or university has a conduct or judicial board which acts as a governing board for student conduct violations. Judicial philosophy can vary widely depending on the institution and every office has its own in loco parentis (Latin for in place of parent) philosophy. Student conduct offices typically operate cooperatively with local police departments and review police reports regularly for possible student conduct violations. If it is determined there is a violation, the student is then charged within the university's conduct system and required to have a hearing of some sort. Based on responsibility (guilt or innocence, essentially) the university then determines sanctions, which can range from community service and mandated classes to expulsion, suspension, and probation. If a student commits an infraction off-campus, he or she will likely be prosecuted by the local courts as well as having a hearing with the university. Some wonder whether this is double punishment and whether universities are over-stepping their bounds. Others contend that students sign a code of conduct which clearly outlines behavior standards and violations should be addressed. In most cases, regardless of the charges being dropped by the local jurisdiction, the university conducts an independent investigation and hearing. One such example is the hearing of University of Georgia student Inman Porter, who is also SGA's Treasurer. Although charges from the city/county were dropped, he continues to have a scheduled hearing date with UGA's Office of Judicial Programs and has been threatened with impeachment from his position as treasurer. (Read more here: http://redandblack.com/2011/08/03/sga-treasurer-porter-faces-student-conduct-hearing-sga-seeks-to-allocate-funds-once-again-wdocuments/ )Have university judicial programs gone too far? Organizations like FIRE ( http://thefire.org/ ) regularly monitor what they believe are violations of students' individual rights and even give schools rankings based on their handling of cases. Considering the varying opinions on judicial programs, it would be pertinent for universities to conduct thorough reviews of their current systems and whether or not they serve the needs of the institution without violating individual rights or over-punishing students.

August already!?

2011-08-01T13:58:00.006-04:00

It seems like I just said "Hello July" and already August is here! This summer has flown by with plenty of high highs and a few lows. I'm working on focusing on the positive so we're going to stick with the highs! Plenty of shopping in fun places like Destin and Atlanta and finally getting settled in the new apartment. At first I wasn't in love with the place, but now that I've gotten it fixed up it looks great and I am enjoying having my own space that is always neat and clean and pretty much perfect!

Upcoming? Trip to California (August 8th-16th) and a nice little break from school before Fall classes start at the end of August. I'm planning and plotting for football season and a little occasion known as... my 26th birthday. Gawd, am I really that old?!

Until then, here's what 3 things I'm currently obsessed with:

Season 9 of Project Runway! I have been watching the show for years and I can't get enough of Heidi Klum, the drama, and the designs. And Michael Kors cracks me up! It's too early for me to have a favorite but I'm sure it won't take long...
Mila Kunis! Who knew Jackie from That 70's Show could turn into such a sexy starlet?! From her wild turn in Black Swan to the new romcom Friends With Benefits she is just funny and sexy. I'm also loving her provocative cover for GQ. I actually picked up a copy for my flight. Sexy Mila Kunis on the cover and maybe I can find out what guys these days are thinking...

My LILLY PULITZER PLANNER. Beyond obsessed. It took awhile to find the right planner but I think this one is it! It was only around 20 bucks I love the bright colors, the easy to use tabs, and the fun stickers. What could be better than being stylish AND organized?

Hello July :)

2011-07-05T12:11:00.006-04:00

This month is going to be crazy busy! I will be wrapping up my summer classes (Statistics, Institutional Research, and Internship credit hours), moving to a new apartment, enjoying a long weekend in Atlanta, and planning my August trip to San Diego to see my brother.

I enjoyed a nice long holiday which started last Thursday and ended today. I got to do a little bit of everything, which was great. I shopped entirely TOO MUCH but racked up some great goods including a new Lilly P, dresses from Lacoste and Ralph Lauren, and a new planner which I will unveil when it arrives! I also got to enjoy the beaches of Destin for the first time. Although with 4th of July traffic it was really crowded, I fell in love with Destin and can't wait to return again soon!

I can't believe that in just around 9 months I will be graduating from FSU with my Master's! This is so exciting and yet leaves me with so much planning! I need to begin the process of applying for PhD programs and pretty soon, searching for jobs. I am so excited to begin that next chapter of my life, but I have every intention of enjoying my carefree Florida life as much as possible until I have to go back to being "grown up" again!

A series of unfortunate events...

2011-06-29T17:05:00.003-04:00

Today sucks. Period. End of story. Just like Alexander - I started it out by oversleeping. My dog was being a pain in the butt and nothing about my morning was going right. I thought some coffee would make it better. When I went to shake up the creamer before pouring it in, the top wasn't on and creamer went everywhere. All over the floor, the cabinets, the counter. I was 30 minutes late to work. At work I spilled soup on my dress and my hair just looked awful. Yesterday it stormed and stormed on my day off. When I checked the weather report today it said thunderstorms all day, so I brought my big umbrella. Lo and behold, it's 93 degrees and sunny, and I'm walking around with a giant umbrella and yet when it is raining... I never have it. Ughhhh. And on top of that - every other thing I have said to my bf has been wrong, wrong, wrong. Can't say anything right, can't do anything right, I'm ready to go back to bed!!!

Today is a horrible, no good, very bad day...

Here's what...

2011-06-27T18:29:00.005-04:00

In case you couldn't tell from the blog title, I'm an Andy Cohen fan. He cracks me up, especially on Watch What Happens Live! Anyway, on this dreary and lame Monday, here's what I'm currently obsessed with (or just looking forward to):

Living alone! No mas drama, no mas sharing, no mas caring if I'm walking around in nothing but Victoria's Secrets... All set to move into a sweet little one bedroom in Azalea Place next month! The next roommate I ever have will only be under the circumstances of a romantic relationship! Otherwise - no more roommates ever ever ever again.
In almost one month, I'll officially have completed my first year of graduate school and I'm going to celebrate by taking a trip to Cali to visit my brother. Mission Beach, Fashion Valley Mall, a Padres game... we're going to have a blast!
Above and Below by The Bravery!! To be honest, the first time I noticed it was on the movie Never Back Down. Great lyrics and great music though...

"I must believe, there's more above us and below, I must believe, stranded with this bitch called Hope, it keeps me here, when all I wanna do is go, it keeps me here, when all I wanna do is disappear..." - The Bravery

Rainy Thursday & Happies

2011-06-23T16:56:00.004-04:00

Now that I'm in my second year of graduate school, my weekends conveniently begin on Thursdays. I have to say that I enjoy this luxury and I don't know what I'll do when I have to go back to working full-time! Having Thursday through Sunday free has afforded me some great opportunities to travel to visit friends. Exploring Atlanta has been great and I'm really starting to develop a deep affection for the sprawling capital. One terrible side effect of spending so much time there is ... SHOPPING! In Atlanta I've found the most wonderful TJ Maxx I've ever shopped. I don't think I've been on one trip up there when I haven't made time to stop by. Back in April, I racked up on Ralph Lauren polos - great for work and so cheap! In January, I discovered these ballet flats by Coach from their Poppy line. Their original retail value is around $190 and I just fell in love with the mulberry color and pretty baubles on the front. When I first saw them there, they were $89, which is considerably cheaper than retail, but alas - I put them aside. Since January, I've come back and looked at them again and again... and again. Finally, I hit pay dirt last week and snagged them for just $29!! They're going to be perfect in the fall with jeans and black dresses.

When I'm not stalking the shops of Atlanta - there's plenty to keep me occupied and spending here in Tally. And don't forget - online shopping! Today I have been in search of the perfect planner. I spent around $50 on a fancy bound and monogrammed edition from MyAgenda last fall, only to find that it wasn't really convenient and I didn't use it much, mostly because of it's small book-like size and heft. So I'm in search of an agenda that is wallet friendly and easy to use, but I'm torn! So many options out there. Will return with details...

Real friends, fake friends & not friends...

2011-06-23T09:37:00.005-04:00

When I was younger, my father used to tell me, "Meghan, you can count your real, true friends on one hand." I think of myself as pretty social, so having only five friends seemed sort of unrealistic. He also used to tell me, "I don't have any friends," which seemed even more unrealistic. Today, now that I am almost 26, I fully understand the meaning of what he was trying to say. When I meet new people, I tend to think of them as friends before I think of them as anything else. That is to say - everyone I meet has the potential to become a friend. In this way - I've never had a hard time making friends. I'm honest and genuine, and from the start, I offer my friendship. This also means that I don't take time to really investigate people and discover whether or not a true friendship is possible.

Sometimes, as we all learned from Mean Girls, friends become frenemies. Or maybe they were never friends to begin with. Who knows? The reality is, is that as many people as there are, there are that many unique personalities and perspectives on what true friendship is. Inevitably, you will come to a moment with someone where your views diverge, and when that happens, where does the friendship go?

Personally, I have always adopted the idea that people are just going to come and go in your life. Time and other circumstances often change things. Sometimes we just grow apart and there is no particular reason why. Some friends are meant to be in your life for a certain period of time, and some are meant to be there forever. There is no way I know of to determine early on what kind of friend someone will be... it's kind of like a craps shoot, you just have no way of knowing how it will go. You're playing the odds and in the end, you have to develop your own principles regarding friendship. What constitutes a true friend? What is acceptable in friendship? How far will you go to save a friendship? These are all very individual things that each person must determine for himself or herself.

If you're asking me, and I assume that if you're reading my blog, you're interested in what I have to say... true friends never pass judgment on your life. You may have opinions about what is right or wrong but ultimately, you should never pass judgment on anyone. Offering advice is one thing - condemning another person's choices is NEVER acceptable. True friends can tell each other anything without fear of judgment. You should always know that your friendship is a "safe place" where you can vent, tell the truth, and have support. True friends don't wait for your friendship to fall apart before talking to you. My truest friends discuss things with me in the moment and we always both apologize instead of justifying our actions. Sometimes an apology is just the right thing to do, even if you feel you had reason for your actions. The bottom line is that in order to have friends - you have to be a friend.

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Shoulda paid attention in high school history...

2011-05-23T22:13:00.005-04:00

True story. In my first semester of grad school, I took a class called Student Personnel Services. Every student in the class has a Bachelor's degree from an accredited college or university and is working toward a Master's degree. During a break, I was in the bathroom checkin' myself in the mirror, when I remarked that the extravagant ruffles at the collar of my top (much like the dude in the picture) made me feel like Napoleon. Who, by the way, is the dude in the picture. A classmate and fellow Master's student (who purports to reform the educational system in America) remarked, "Oh, Napoleon Dynamite?"

Crisis.

After biting my tongue and having to explain that no - I wasn't talking about some character with bad hair and a liger fetish, I explained that Napoleon Bonaparte was a French emperor. I mean, he's not really important or anything. He just tried to take over the world. That's all...

Later, I relayed the story to a friend, who is an educator, and her response was - "Why is it so important to know that? Maybe it's not someone's passion..." The educational system in this country is in serious trouble. In a time where our country is undergoing tumultuous change, probably more than half of our citizens cannot define terms like privatization or socialism. They have not taken care to learn about the founding of our country (beyond minutiae like Betsy Ross and Paul Revere) well enough to know that originally, the United States of America was intended to not only be a representative government, but a "small" government. They have no problem electing officials who advocate for government-run healthcare, completely unaware of the fact that embracing a system of completely government-run programs is in fact, endorsing socialism. On a day when Florida's governor announced that he would seek to privatize and outsource the state-run Department of Corrections, more people Googled "Justin Bieber" and "Kirstie Alley." But that's okay, because that's their passion, right? We teach kids that if it doesn't excite or interest you, it isn't important. I think it's high time for a return to fundamentals and a true liberal arts education.

We have become so focused on vocational and professional education, that students manage to walk out of high school, nay out of colleges, not knowing who Napoleon Bonaparte was. Will there come a day when my child is standing in a bathroom with someone who doesn't know who Adolf Hitler was? Or Idi Amin? Saddam Hussein? Education cannot simply be about entertainment or a specific field or trade. A TRUE liberal arts education provides the learner with an extensive body of general knowledge in addition to critical thinking skills. This was supposed to be the mission of public education. To educate the citizens of America so that they should become productive and informed enough to participate in a democratic republic. Time to get back to the basics. Forget No Child Left Behind, forget pay based on performance. The whole system needs an overhaul and Americans need a reality check that if they keep choosing entertainment over education, they may one day be speaking Chinese...

Eat, Drink & Be Merry...

2011-02-05T12:39:00.004-05:00

Once, at Happy Hour, a friend asked me what I wanted to do with my life. Besides the fact that I'm in a Master's program for college-level administrators, what initially came to mind was how much I love to shop, drink, eat and make new friends... Some people, like Anthony Bourdain may have parlayed those loves into a successful career, but I like to think that my career finances my loves. After all, my motto is "I don't live to work, I work to live."

To that end, I spend my weekends and free time doing all those things I love. Tallahassee has been a great new city to explore and I love to try new places and find new "favorites." Here are just a few that I've tried lately.

Bella Bella on 123 East 5th Avenue in Tallahassee

I went here for an awkward, albeit delicious farewell lunch with my former supervisor and some coworkers. I have to say this lunch was one of the best things about having worked in that office. Although I felt very awkward due to the nature of the lunch, the ambiance and atmosphere of this Italian restaurant was great. Cute and quirky decor and rustic features like exposed brick all appealed to my love of cozy cafes. Portion sizes were HUGE and service was pretty good, although I had to ask for a straw for my water - what gives?

What I had: Bubble Bread appetizer and Grecian Turkey gourmet sandwich.

The Bubble Bread was yummy. The sandwich was interesting - great turkey served on ciabatta with roma tomatoes, hummus, feta, and Greek dressing. Delicious and filling, my sandwich was served with Bella Bella's signature sweet potato salad. I'm not a huge sweet potato fan, but I have to admit the salad was good. A blend of sweet and savory flavors, I found myself actually enjoying the bits of celery... and I hate celery. Can't wait to go back to Bella Bella and try the Gorgonzola Ravioli!

Masa on 1001 North Monroe Street in Tallahassee

My visit to Masa was an occasion to start a Girl's Night in Midtown Tallahassee. Midtown is my favorite part of Tally - great boutiques, restaurants and bars. It reminds me of Athens a bit, although nothing compares to Athens block after block of amazing food, drinks and stuff to buy. Masa is clearly a favorite around town as Friday night found it packed. It seemed a bit small, but that lent to the charm and intimacy of the place. Our table was near the door, and the constant opening and shutting kept letting a freezing draft in which drove me a bit nuts. Servers were attentive although they could have paid more attention to water glasses, which is a pet peeve of mine... mine sat empty for quite a while. On to the food...

What I had: Sauvignon Blanc from Cupcake Wineries, Edamame with spicy black bean sauce, fried calamari Masa style, philadelphia cream cheese wonton, and spicy seafood fried rice.

The wine was good although I'll readily admit I'm not a huge Sauvignon Blanc fan. The bottle service at the table was great, the waitress frequently checked in to fill our glasses. Edamame... hmmmn... I wasn't a fan. Knowing a night of drinking was ahead, I was seeking appetizers that were a bit more... carb-y. The spicy black bean sauce was amazing, but I wouldn't recommend the edamame as a starter to anyone who doesn't just harbor a sincere love for edamame. Fried calamari is one of my favorite appetizers to try at any restaurant. My current favorite for calamari is Midtown's Chez Pierre, but Masa's calamari might be a close second or a tie. The calamari was HUGE! It was flavorful, not overly greasy or breaded. However, the presentation was a bit weird. The calamari was served in a bowl with a bunch of marinated vegetables. To be honest it ended up looking like a salad. You had to dig for the calamari, so it was kind of like a treasure hunt. The cream cheese wontons were amazing and reminded me of crab rangoons - yum.

Although the starters were all delicious at Masa, what I have to rave about there was my entree. The spicy seafood fried rice was unlike any dish I have had! Filled with plump and well seasoned seafood (salmon, shrimp, and scallops) this dish had the right amount of heat and flavor. Bonus points for it being just as good the day after when I was hungover. I would definitely go back and order it again! Next time, I may have to try one of Masa's signature dishes, the grilled sweet chili duck breast. Sounds intriguing!

Scarlett would say, "B*tch, please..."

2011-01-26T21:20:00.004-05:00

Channeling my inner Scarlett

Sometimes things go shit and I find myself at a loss for words. (This is rare.) When it does happen, I find myself asking, "What would Scarlett do?"

Your relationship is becoming challenging and you're not sure if you want to commit to your man. Scarlett says, "I can't think about that today. If I do, I'll go crazy. I'll think about that tomorrow..."
People in your cohort (not naming names) are getting on your damn nerves, every damn day. Scarlett says, "Great balls of fire. Don't bother me anymore, and don't call me sugar."
Some people you work with wear mismatched clothes and looking at them is hurting your eyes. Scarlett says, "I never heard of such bad taste!"
Your boss micromanages every task you're given and you basically feel like you can't breathe when you're around her. Scarlett says, "Fiddle-dee-dee."
People are pushin' your buttons and you've just about had enough. Scarlett says, "I can shoot straight if I don't have to shoot too far."
You're not getting enough lovin' and you're not happy about it. Scarlett says, "My life is over. Nothing will ever happen to me anymore."
People are telling you to watch your spending and quit shopping. Scarlett says, "Who are you to tell me I musn't??"
Some creepy middle-aged man is hitting on you, and you're sick of it. Scarlett says, "Ooh, if I just wasn't a lady. What I wouldn't tell that varmint..."

Reasons Facebook is Ruining My Life

2010-07-22T18:24:00.002-04:00

I can no longer bitch about my family on Facebook. Why? In addition to having to love them, I have to be their "friends" now too. FML.
It's a guarantee that all my past mistakes are going to come back at some point and friend me. Instead of you being "that crazy night" you're now my "friend" with regular wall posts about your girlfriend, X-box, or Family Guy marathons. FML.
I miss the days when booty call actually meant that someone was going to call you. Now I just get a message in my inbox, or even better, a poke. FML.
I also miss the days when that creepy guy from class or work was only able to stalk you in real life. Now I get to be stalked 24-7 by guys I barely know. FML.
When someone pisses me off, I can't vent via my FB status. FB friends don't do that to FB friends, do they? FML.
Back in the day you knew the guy you were seeing had ex-flames. Sometimes you wondered what they were like. Thanks to FB, now you know. FML.

A Betty Draper Complex

2010-07-12T18:21:00.001-04:00

If you know anything about me, you know that I've had an ongoing love affair with lots of things: shoes, exotic beer, and dastardly men among them. Perhaps one of my latest and greatest obsessions has been the critically acclaimed AMC drama, Mad Men. While it is true that the plots are never dull and the scenery is lush, I suppose I love Mad Men so much for one practical reason: Elizabeth "Betty" Draper.

If you know anything about Mad Men, you know that the basic storyline follows the lives of several high-power advertising executives in 1960's Manhattan. While the "Mad Men" and their endless philandering and posturing are of some interest to me, I was quite taken with the character of Mrs. Draper. Betty is married to the creative director of Sterling Cooper advertising agency. As much as her husband is driven to sell products, he's driven to lie, cheat, and ignore. But Betty, ever the 50's/60's housewife, makes desperation look so deceptively posh.

Her house is always immaculate, her dinners always well-done, and with never a hair out of place Betty finds herself in a world that is falling apart. The reason I can relate to Betty? Simple. Betty finds herself always lost at the whims of men. Men can lie, cheat and steal, and they are really seen none the less for it. "Boys will be boys." Men sometimes need to sow wild oats, and it's perfectly acceptable for a man to have wanton affairs and spend money on extravagant purchases. Even Betty's husband, Don, who has built his life on lies, secrets, and a borrowed identity, seems to feel no remorse for the situations he puts her in. So, in season two, when Betty has a hot fling with a handsome stranger at a hotel, I couldn't help but cheer for her. (After all, Don has been cheating since Episode One of Season One.)

I can't help but wonder how in 2010, we are still living out so many of the stupid double standards that pigeon-hole women and their potential. Even other women play into stereotypes: the prude, the ditz, the bombshell. Do we play these roles because we want to or have to or are classified in them no matter what we do? Who knows?

All I know is that I secretly fear living a life like Betty Draper. Where I'm the fresh-face of enjoying marriage and family, and my husband lies and cheats behind my back. Where my interests and talents come second to his. Do you have to give up part of yourself to find love or to make a relationship work? And why do men think it is all or nothing? If you care about them obviously this means you're dying to give up your life and wait on them and wash their laundry and bear them babies. Are you joking?! I like you... but none of those other things interest me!

Getting in over my head in the Sunshine State,

A Summer of Changes

2010-07-11T22:26:00.000-04:00

Whew, so for the very few readers left out there, here goes nothing as I try to catch up on nearly 3 months of "lost time."

So, as we all know, March was an interesting time for me. I had one "interesting" weekend that changed everything. It was like all the strings that were keeping me tied down got cut all at once and I felt, well... weightless. So, I began the adventure of a lifetime, so to speak...

I spent a lot of time visiting with old friends and partying and shopping and just... being completely and totally carefree. I had a great time and did some great things: two 5ks, dating a devastatingly handsome (and totally idiotic) Marine, enjoying downtown Athens (both the shops and the bars), and laying around like a generally lazy bum. I knew that my nomadic, wild-child lifestyle couldn't last forever, so on a whim, I decided to see if Florida was ready to have me yet. No one in my department seemed to know whether or not there was anything available, and as they say, fortune favors the bold so I decided to take fate into my own hands...

On a lark, I thought I might call various departments at FSU and see if anyone needed help. I picked up the phone and called the Dean's office of The Graduate School. That was the first and last call I made. Whether they found me, or I found them... there was an opening at The Graduate School. I e-mailed the associate dean my information, we exchanged a few e-mails, planned an in-person interview, met, hit it off, and I did a second interview. About 7 minutes after I left my second interview, I received a call and... they offered me the job!

After that phone call, everything happened FAST. It was a Tuesday and they wanted me to start the following Monday. I had just enough time to get back to Georgia and throw a few things together. For the first two weeks I worked, I stayed with a friend who lived about 45 minutes away from Tallahassee and commuted every day. Eventually, after lots of fruitless searching, I finally turned up a furnished sublease and dove into life in Tallahassee!

Now, with summer quickly coming to a close, I have worked for the Dean's office for almost three months. I have loved the work I do there, and have also been offered another great opportunity: I will continue working for the office while I'm in school, AND they are going to pay my tuition, including out-of-state fees! In just a few weeks I leave the sublease behind and move to a brand-new apartment with a new roommate! A few weeks after that, school starts and I begin the two-year journey to my Master's degree...

So, that's what I've been up to!

More updates to follow. Love from the Sunshine State!

On hiatus...

2010-06-13T23:45:00.000-04:00

So, I've been MIA since the end of March. So much has happened since then! I doubt I have any readers left, but I like to write, even if it's just for me. So despite a long absence, I plan to get this blog up to date!

Soon to come:

Saying goodbye to Georgia (for now, anyway)...
How I ended up in Tallahassee...
And what I've been doing here...

Stay tuned!

Love from the sunshine state!

A few of my LEAST favorite things...

2010-03-30T10:00:00.000-04:00

Just had to get it out today, so, as they say "there it is.

People who use a mix of caps and lowercase. lIKe ThIS fOOls!!! wHaT tHe f-CK iS yOUr pROBleM HoLMeS?! Thanks for being a candy ass and identifying yourself for me.

Lap dogs or dogs that can fit in a purse. First off, the damn things bark and yap alllllll day long. Second, just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I want a dog I can put in my purse. My dog is an American-English bulldog. And after her, I want a German Shepherd. So you can eat your little stereotypes.

When I'm out downtown in Athens, I hear a song I like playing in a bar. Only I'm too "not with it" to find out the name, so later I just wander around trying to figure out what the heck I heard.

When I'm not supposed to be shopping, I can find a million things I like and everything looks good on me. When I need to go shopping, I can't find anything I like and everything looks like crap.

The Circus. Period. I just don't like clowns, carnies, people performing acrobatic tricks. WEIRD.

Farmville. If you play Farmville, you suck. That is all.

People with red hair. I have like maybe one friend with red hair and she is freakin' awesome. But she's the exception. Everyone else with red hair is crazy and evil. Believe.

No one knows ANY Irish history! Even people who claim to be Irish! Lots of groups like African Americans want to claim to being ignored and forgotten - gimme a friggin break! Over ONE MILLION Irish immigrated to the United States as a result of the Great Potato Famine. That's one million people that no one knows anything about, except supposedly we like to drink beer and punch people.

There are two religious groups in the south: Baptist and Methodist. No one really knows why these are the only two options, they just go with it because they're just more right than everyone else.

Facebook Friend Requests from people I have NEVER heard of. I am not an internet creeper. No thanks.

Acceptance #2

2010-03-27T12:50:00.001-04:00

As a friend said, "It's good to have options." Although I have recieved the official notice, I did recieve a tentative notice on Friday of my recommendation for acceptance to the University of Mississippi!

At this point I am still decided on Florida State for the fall, however it is a great feeling to be accepted anywhere and to have a fall-back plan in case things go horribly wrong.

So, not to toot my own horn, but congrats to me! I applied five places and recieved two acceptances! Not too shabby considering my undergrad GPA, a fact which I plan to remedy with hard work in grad school! Can't wait for this fall!!

Oh, my life, is changing every day...

2010-03-25T13:36:00.000-04:00

in every possible way...

So, after my series of personal mishaps (or minor tragedies depending on how you look at it) I decided to take a small blogging hiatus. I didn't want to get on here and just piss and moan about everything in my life. Nor did I want to walk the road of getting all moony and nostalgic over a "relationship" that was probably never right to begin with. But, I think a sufficient mourning period has passed, and so, here I am.

After losing my job and my.... whatever-he-was, I have to admit, I went through a bit of a wild child phase. I took absolutely every opportunity possible to go out and get wild and have fun. And boy, did I have some fun. Let's just say I crossed some things off of "my list," and I had to write some things in just so I could cross them off. Aside from a whole rabble of unmentionables, I completed my first 5k, the 3rd annual DawgTrot in Athens, GA. I had a BLAST! Our time was a little slow but I was still very proud and had an amazing time! St. Pat's this year was a great day for me. I had a great time celebrating my friend, Katie's 21st birthday, and I also met someone... a boy. :) I don't really know where it's going right now but I am having a good time with the unexpected surprise of it all!

So...now for future plans. Other than being a major bum and laying out and reading and sleeping in, I have been rather industrious in planning for the future! Next Thursday, I have an interview with the local zoo (The Parks at Chehaw) for a position as a Summer Camp counselor. Since I am planning to move to Tallahassee late this summer in preparation for the fall semester, I am looking for summer camp jobs! If anyone has any good leads, please feel free to leave me a comment or a link! Besides employment, I am planning on running my second 5k in just two weeks! I will hopefully be attending the 2nd annual Terrapin Beer 5k plus One More Mile on April 10. Aside from the fun of it, the annual G Day (UGA's spring football exhibition game) is on the same day, and the run is also in Athens, which will give me a great excuse to catch up with friends again and the aforementioned boy...

So, thanks to all my blogging friends for all the support and encouragement! I am back and better than ever...

♫ Happies...

2010-03-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

I have yet to see the new movie, but saw this new "soundtrack" at Wal-Mart and was intrigued. It's one of those cases where I don't think these songs were actually in the movie, more like inspired by the movie. Although I hadn't actually previewed any of the music, I took one look at the rabble of famous artists on the back (Avril Lavigne, All Time Low, Shinedown, Wolfmother, etc.) and had to spring for the $13 CD. After all, I'm feeling very Alice-esque these days and I've long time had a deep love for the movie/story. Check it out. Some of my personal favs are Fall Down a Hole (Wolfmother), Painting Flowers (All Time Low), and The Technicolor Phase (Owl City).

1. Alice by Avril Lavigne

2. The Poison by The All-American Rejects

3. The Technicolor Phase by Owl City

4. Her Name is Alice by Shinedown

5. Painting Flowers by All Time Low

6. Where's My Angel by Metro Station

7. Strange by Tokio Hotel and Kerli

8. Follow Me Down by 3Oh3! featuring Neon Hitch

9. Very Good Advice by Robert Smith

10. In Transit by Mark Hoppus with Pete Wentz

11. Welcome to Mystery by Plain White T's

12. Tea Party by Kerli

13. The Lobster Quadrille by Franz Ferdinand

14. Always Running Out of Time by Motion City Soundtrack

15. Down a Hole by Wolfmother

16. White Rabbit by Grace Potter and The Nocturnals

Why pink ISN'T my favorite color...

2010-03-09T13:22:00.000-05:00

Some of you may have borne witness to a string of cryptic Facebook status updates I left over the weekend, and here's the whole story. Straight from the horse's mouth...

After leaving teaching last year, I went on a slew of interviews, seventeen to be exact. Of those 17 interviews, I was made three offers. One was for a good job in Washington DC with the federal government, one was for a social work position at an agency here in Albany, and the other was for a job as a library assistant here in Albany. I turned down the job in DC based on the fact that I didn't think that it fit with my goals to return to school in the fall. I turned down the job at the social work agency because I didn't feel like I could handle being on call and working with the types of issues I would probably end up seeing. At the time, the library felt like the safest and best choice. The work wouldn't be all that difficult, and after all it was just temporary.

Just how temporary, I was unaware. Things went pretty well until I was abruptly transferred to a different branch of the library system at the end of January. I was given little notice and no choice in the matter. Before I even went to the new library I knew that it was going to be the wrong fit for me. So basically for about a month, I tried my best to make the situation work, but I could feel things coming to a head. It just wasn't a work environment that I wanted to be in. As much as I went to work, I often felt disrespected, accosted, and unmotivated. Last Wednesday, I threw up my hands in utter aggravation and said, "I can't do this anymore! I just can't make myself do this!" Famous last words.

I should have quit on Wednesday, because on Friday, I got pink slipped. No notice, no reason, just "it's not working out and we need your key." Given almost no time to react, I'd say it's fair to assume that my reaction was pretty snarky. The person who did the firing sat there staring at me and at one point I looked at her and was like, "I'm not sure what kind of reaction you're expecting here... I'm not yelling so I think I'm doing pretty well." Bottom line, I was unhappy and it probably was the best choice for me to leave, so although things didn't go down quite as I might have hoped... c'est la vie.

And just when I thought the weekend couldn't get any worse - I had a personal disaster of sorts. Someone I care a lot about...well, things just went totally awry. By the end of Sunday night, I felt like not only had I lost my job, but I had also lost someone I care a great deal for. I can't lie, I went into total drama queen mode and laid in my bed all day, refusing to move or eat or do anything. How could things go so wrong so quickly? I knew I couldn't lay in bed forever, so Monday morning, I just jumped back in - gym, chores, unemployment office, running, all the things I'd normally do. I was okay until things slowed down at the end of the day and I realized how much I missed sharing parts of my day with this person...

Well... there isn't much I can do in either situation. I just try to remember this:

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. --1 Corinthians 10:13--

And I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I have the best friends. From concerned calls, to caring texts, funny FB messages, and offers of company and comfort, I know that this is one area in which I have been truly blessed. Maybe things like this happen so you can be reminded how loved and lucky you really are.

Lent.

2010-02-23T12:04:00.001-05:00

For years, I've been observing Ash Wednesday and the season of Lent by joining in the tradition of giving something up for 40 days and 40 nights. Some years (okay, a few years) I have tried, albeit unsuccessfully, to give up swearing. You know what they say, the road to hell was paved with good intentions. One year, I gave up talking to a toxic ex-boyfriend. (Maybe that was more of a benefit to myself than to humanity, but hey, who's checking motives, anyway?) Probably my greatest stroke of genius was my senior year of college when I gave up Facebook and MySpace for Lent (okay, I did cheat a few times...but only on Sundays!). While I'm not much of a die-hard Catholic, I do appreciate Lent and the opportunity it offers. The whole idea is to purge yourself of a crutch on which you normally rely. Lots of people give up meat, sweets, soft drinks. I prefer to challenge myself a little more, so there were a couple of tough options on the table for me this year.

In the interest of being polite, and since this is the worldwide web, where anyone and everyone can read this blog, I'll use the most PC terms possible.

For Lent this year, I was tossing around a few ideas. I don't watch much television, so it's not like it would kill me to give that up. I'm not much for sweets, so that's not a horrible sacrifice either. There's just no way I'm not eating meat for 40 days and 40 nights, and I already don't drink soft drinks. So I had to start thinking about what I actually like... some things I really enjoy, which would be hard for me to give up: "beverages," "relations," and finally, the coup de grace - shopping. We'll start easy and tackle "beverages." While I've been known to over-indulge, I typically enjoy 1-2 every so often, and mostly in social settings. (Okay, I can't lie - some of these social settings include just me, my dinner, and the TV.) Either way, with a couple of road trips planned in the near future, and Saint Patrick's day falling right in the middle of Lent, "beverages" just felt like too much of a sacrifice. "Relations." Well - what's there to say here? I'll just say that at this juncture in my life, I was not willing to sacrifice this part of my life under... any circumstances.

So really, that left me with shopping. Shopping is a pretty broad category, so I decided that for Lenten purposes and intents, "shopping" would be defined as "pleasure shopping," aka retail therapy. Thusly, for 40 nights and 40 days, I am left to do nothing but covet... no new clothes, no new shoes, no "fashion" purchases of any kind...

With any luck, I'll make it through and my soul will be a little lighter (and my wallet a little heavier...)

La Vie En Marche

2010-02-20T10:22:00.001-05:00

Life Moving.

Apologies to any and all readers, however few you may be. I have been MIA since the Superbowl. I'll gloss over that subject now and say that I was more than a little deflated watching my Colts go down. But other than not wanting to dish over my favorite team's loss, I have just been flat out busy lately.

I feel busy and vindicated. I'll start at the beginning. Have you ever come to those moments in life where you feel like life is presenting you with some really tough choices? That was where I was last Spring. I felt like I was choosing between the life I had been living up to that point, and a life I could only envision. I'm a true believer in fate, and I feel like every so often we get these huge moments where our life can either stay as it is, or diverge onto a new path. Last Spring was such a moment. I could choose to go on teaching, to go on living in a small town, while I wasn't 100% happy, it was neither an unfulfilled life nor one without happiness and success. I feel like the moment where I truly changed my mind was so small, so innocuous. I had asked my principal for a personal day. I hadn't hardly missed a day of school all year. I was never late for work. Never missed a meeting or a conference. But because he didn't particularly like me, he denied my request. So, I decided, the hell with it. I'm taking a sick day. I drove to Athens, had lunch with my old boss, and we began discussing graduate school and other possibilities for my future. It sounds so strange, but that one day changed my whole life. I decided that I could either spend the rest of my life considering my options and being cautious, or I could finally throw caution to the wind and do something really brave, which would be to chase down an interest of mine. To this day, I can't say where all that courage came from. I just know that when I drove home that afternoon, I was a different person. It was as if I hit the reset button in my life.

From there, I devoted nearly 100% of my energy to chasing a dream that more than a few people thought was less than plausible. After all, I'd been graduated two years, I now had car payments and student loans and a dog and a million other responsibilities that made the idea of graduate school seem crazy. More to the point, I was seeking acceptance into a program that at most schools only accepts maybe 15-20 students per year. So, last summer I sat through almost 20 job interviews. I turned down two job offers, and accepted the job that paid the least money. I put all my belongings into storage, and moved home to my parents'. And I studied. And I studied. I studied for the GRE til my eyes were sore and I couldn't do any more. And while I felt like everyone was looking at me like I was crazy, I just kept right on and took money out of my savings account to complete five applications at five different Universities. In the back of my mind was a nagging question - what if no one takes me?

I just swallowed my fear and had a backup plan for my backup plan. And then, one day, I got that wonderful, perfect e-mail that changed everything. I had been accepted to Florida State University. But the battle was only half over. I still had to attend Visiting Days and interview for an assistantship. I had a whopping five interviews with different offices on campus. And I likely won't know the results of those interviews until the end of next week. But for the first time in a long time, I feel validated. All the months of hard work, of sacrifice, of fear - those are over now. I know that the next two years in this program will be hard work, but I also see them as the biggest gift, the biggest reward.

I guess what I'm driving at here is when people say, "Courage isn't NOT being afraid, it's being afraid and doing it anyway," nothing could be more true. Although I wasn't at the time, I am now thankful for the moment that made me question my life and what I was doing with it. I'm thankful for the moment that made me step up and realize that playing it safe is comfortable and easy and sometimes rewarding BUT if you are willing to risk it all, sometimes the best dividends are received by going all out.

Robert Frost. 1875–

67. The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that, the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Covet ♥

2010-02-06T10:29:00.000-05:00

I've decided that I covet an awful lot these days...it's fun to dream about things you wish you could afford. So here's a couple of cute things I've seen lately that have caught my fancy...

Item One: Frog Prince ring by Delfina Delettrez.
Level of Lust: $540

Featured in the new "We're Obsessed" section of InStyle, this whopper of a ring caught my eye! In the recent past I've developed a small crush on statement rings and this adorable ring is definitely a statement. I love the whole idea of the ring...and that the frog is gasp -- my favorite color this year: PURPLE!

_____

Item Two: Original Wayfarers by Ray Ban.
Lust Level: $189

I already own a pair of very pricey Wayfarer-esque sunglasses by Juicy Couture, but these?! These glasses are iconic. Everyone from Bob Dylan to Grace Kelly has worn a pair of these. To me, it would feel like not only being chic and stylish, but hello, owning a piece of fashion history!

_____

Rain can be fun...

2010-02-02T12:58:00.000-05:00

When you have boots like these...

Murphy's Law...

2010-02-01T12:28:00.000-05:00

If it can happen, it WILL happen...

Friday evening marked the first Girl's Night of 2010. I have a group of four friends from college (five, including me) that I regularly plan Girl's Nights with. I was the first to spread my wings and leave after my graduation from UGA in 2007, and now, in 2010, we are spread out all across the US. Lucy is now a pre-k teaching living in Winder with her husband, Aimee teaches middle school in Atlanta, Christy attends grad school at Georgia State, Angelica goes to college in Texas and I, well, y'all know me. I'm an assistant librarian in good ol Smallbany. Here are 4 of us at Lucy's Bachelorette Party in Athens:

Lucy. Christy. Me. Angelica.

In any case, Christy, Lucy, and I planned to meet at Lucy's on Friday night for the kickoff of a girl's weekend. (Angelica couldn't come at all and Aimee could only meet us for shopping and lunch on Saturday.) I left straightaway after work and headed up I-75. Now, if you know me at all, you know that I'm a little directionally challenged. On a rare occasion, I can (with the help of MapQuest) make it exactly where I'm going, exactly on time, with exactly no deviations. But, most of the time, I make a wrong turn (or two...or twelve) and end up somewhere I shouldn't be, completely unaware of how to get back on the right path. I have a "friend" (we'll just call him B for now) whom I visit every so often in the Atlanta area. I try very hard to learn my way around a little better, but, to B's great frustration I somehow still manage to botch all my directions. In any case, I talked to him Friday in hopes of simplifying the directions MapQuest was giving me. He's a brass tacks sort of guy, so he gave it to me quick, fast, and in a hurry. 75 to 85, 85 to 316. Sounds simple, right? Well...it was raining pretty hard by the time I hit ATL and if it's possible, my windshield wipers were making everything worse. Somehow, I forked off somewhere and long story short, I ended up taking 75 to 675 to 285 to 85 to 316. But...I made it there alive and texted B "I made it, aren't you proud? :)" His response? "Proud. More like shocked. Lol. JK." I'm about 92% sure he wasn't just kidding. And, I'm cool with that. (Hey, I'm self-aware!)

Highlights from Friday and Saturday:

Watched Post Grad, again. Yay!
Made sweet-tart shots. Was so successful (I'm usually a pretty crappy bartender too) that we drank almost the entire bottle of SoCo.
Watched Jennifer's Body. This movie was stupid and overrated but for the one hot makeout scene with Amanda Seyfried and Megan Fox. (Yeah, I'm a girl, but even I thought it was pretty hot.)
Mall of Georgia. Sephora. Ann Taylor LOFT. Bought a really cute headband. (See below.)

Enter Sunday. A day of disaster. First of all, I have to explain that Saturday night, after our Mall of Georgia excursion, Christy decided to head back home while I was staying with Lucy for another night. On her way home, a log truck drove by and one of the logs fell off, hitting her car. Making matters worse, the driver of the log truck either didn't notice or didn't care, and just drove away. Poor Christy was left with a destroyed bumper. So, Sunday morning, when Lucy's hubby was headed to the store, he pops back into the living room where we're hanging out in our PJs and says, "Hey Meg, you know you have a flat tire, right?" Which, of course I didn't. The ensuing debacle was exhausting.

Lucy's hubs graciously and chivalrously offered to change my tire. By the end of the ordeal he had kicked his own truck in frustration and told me he hated my car. Can't say I blame him. Go out to start the car. Car isn't starting. Car is smoking. Lucy's husband pops the hood and finds a vacuum hose leak. Problem fixed. Lucy and I drove on the spare to the nearby Wal Mart. They goods news-bad news me and tell me the good news is that the tire isn't shredded. The bad news is, there was a nail in the sidewall. Sidewall can't be repaired. "Well," I exclaim, "that tire is practically new! I just bought the back tires at Sam's." Good news: Wal Mart honor's Sam's warranties. Bad news: I don't have my receipt. Good news: Wal Mart can look up my warranty. Bad news: Wal Mart doesn't have any tires that are as good as the ones I have. Good news: Sam's has the perfect tire match and can look up my warranty. Bad news: I don't have a Sam's membership. Good news: Sam's will let me in if I get the number to my parent's membership. Bad news: Sam's is in Athens. Long story even longer - my tire wasn't replaced until about 3pm.

♫ happies...

2010-01-28T17:18:00.000-05:00

Got a new CD today! Usually I love the Grammy Nom compilations because they feature some of the best and most popular songs of the year. I own the Grammy Noms CD from 2007 (feat. Mary J. Blige, John Mayer, Paul McCartney, etc.) and when I saw the 2010 CD on sale for $11.88 at Wal Mart, I just had to stop and check it out! So, I got my happies today from a new CD and I totally recommend. See below for the full track listing!! :)

I Gotta Feeling - The Black Eyed Peas
Poker Face - Lady Gaga
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
You & Me - Dave Matthews Band
You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift
Fallin' For You - Colbie Caillat
You Found Me - The Fray
Sober - P!nk
My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson
Hot N Cold - Katy Perry
Halo - Beyoncé
Hometown Glory - Adele
Chicken Fried - Zac Brown Band
I Run To You - Lady Antebellum
Here Comes Goodbye - Rascal Flatts
21 Guns - Green Day
Life in Technicolor ii - Coldplay
I'll Go Crazy If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight - U2
Can't Find My Way Home - Eric Clapton & Steve Winwood

Covet.

2010-01-27T12:48:00.001-05:00

Today is just one of those days where I desperately wish I could blow off work and go shopping. I'm daydreaming of manicures and glossy shopping bags and late lunches with cocktails. For fun, here's my current wish list:

Lola, by Marc Jacobs.

Bijou Pear Bracelet, by J Crew.

Russian Navy nail lacquer, by OPI.

Droid, by Verizon Wireless.

That's a negative, Ghost Rider, the pattern is full...

2010-01-26T12:33:00.000-05:00

In the recent past, I've reconnected with some old friends and started going out here in Albany. When I first moved back down here, I swore I wouldn't go out. Who wants to haunt the cruddy bars of their former stomping grounds and get hit on by lifers and old men or share bar-space with middle-aged divorcees with teased hair and eyelashes a la Tammy Faye? "No, no," I said, I was content to sit at home with a book and a beer and mope about my glory days gone by. Well, eventually, that got old too and I was tired of haunting my parents' house, awkwardly trying to decide whether to hibernate in my room or to sit in the living room and feel twelve again.

My rebellious side hit a peak, when one day, upon being informed of my transfer to a different branch of the library, I decided that "Tonight just feels like a good night for bad choices." Enter a beer. (Or two.) And some indiscriminate kissing with someone I maybe shouldn't have been kissing. Oh well, one crappy Monday down. Tuesday I decided to play it safe and stay home. Wednesday, I decided to make up for Tuesday and go out and have a couple beers with a friend. Thursday, I decided to make up for Monday by continuing to recklessly make out with Monday's poor decision. Friday I decided to avoid any further poor decisions and go drinking with only coworkers this time. Saturday was just plain fun. And then I felt like I really needed to sit Sunday out because at this point, I'd been out pretty much every night but Tuesday.

I spent most of last week making up for that week by sitting around and trying to be good. Which was working pretty well until Saturday. I worked all day and it just felt like a great night to cut the fool. So, that's pretty much what I did. And to tell the truth, I underestimated how much fun going out around a small town can be. Fish. In. A. Barrel. That's how Saturday felt. I was texting about three different bad choices at one time. After making plans with my "flavor of the month", I went back in to close my tab... and was promptly distracted by a cute fish (guy) who started chatting me up. He offered to pay for my tab, traded ribs about our football teams (he was a FLA fan, I'm Georgia, as y'all know) and then said, "Well come on, I just know you're here with your boyfriend..." I laughed (that's what flirts do) and was about two minutes from closing the deal and giving said fish my number, when my friends came up and successfully killed my game by hustling me out the door. I spent the rest of the night with FOM (flavor of the month) and woke up with only two regrets.

I didn't let the cute fish at the bar pay for my tab.

I also didn't give that cute fish my number.

I've started to notice a funny thing about life. People write about it, people sing about it, and there are even psychiatric definitions for it. Whatever the expression, it seems that somehow or other, we all end up feeling this way. If I'm being vague, I'll allow John Mayer and the Beach Boys to explain.

The Beach Boys: Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long?

John Mayer: So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young...

When you're young, you can't wait to turn 16 and drive, and 18 and be an adult, and 21 and be legal and then...sometime after 21 it seems like you realize you spent the first part of your life in a hurry-up offense and now you're older, you have all these things you thought would be so fun, and life just hasn't turned out like you thought it would.

So then some of us enter a second phase. I've called it by many names (quarterlife crisis, post grad, what-the-hell-am-I-doing with-my-life?) but it's the heart and soul of this blog.

Yes, I'm fully in my terrible twenties. I party too much, lie about my age in reverse ("Yes, of course I'm only 21!") yearn for my college days, eschew responsibility. Heck, I even came full circle and live with my parents. It doesn't get much more quarterlife crisis than that.

Great News for 2010

2010-01-22T12:27:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, as 2009 was coming to a close, I submitted applications to five universities for candidacy in Higher Education Master's programs. The final deadline officially is March 01 for Ole Miss, but I have already received good news from one school! As of today, I was accepted to Florida State University's Higher Education program!!!

Visiting Days for the program will be February 14-16 on campus in Tallahassee! Of course, I am still waiting to hear from other schools, but plan on moving forward with FSU at the moment.

I hoped that 2010 would be a much better year than 2009 was for me and this is the great start that I was hoping for!! I am so excited to pursue a future in this program and can't wait to hear more from FSU and hopefully other schools too! Thanks so much to everyone who has encouraged me while I have been on this break from teaching. None of my choices have been easy but I feel like now they are starting to pay off and I am finally realizing what I want to do and was meant to do!!!

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. --Ecclesiastes 7:14--

New Look...

2010-01-21T14:21:00.000-05:00

Working on a new look, courtesy of Shabby Blogs...check out her free awesome designs!

Post Grad

2010-01-20T14:10:00.000-05:00

Saw this movie this summer.

STORY. OF. MY. LIFE.

First. Loved the movie. No, it's no a Coppola or a Scorsese. It's nothing that people will talk about for generations to come. But - it spoke to me. It was light and sweet and funny and dealt with all the tough feelings of post grad.

Second. Girl's name? Ryden. Love. Being one of five Meghans/Megans/Meagans in my English 1101 at UGA taught me that...wow, a lot of people have my name. I really would like for my future kids to not have a common and overused name. Ryden. Definitely on the list.

Third. Book turned movie. What's not to love? My favorite genre! 256 pages by Emily Cassell. On the "To Read" list.

Oh, and the soundtrack? It's not bad either. Lily Allen, the Kooks, and Joshua Radin.

Tattoo....or not??

2010-01-13T17:08:00.001-05:00

Ever seen the movie "Rebel Without a Cause?" I haven't - but the title sure makes me think of myself these days...

While I can think of plenty of other things that I do that are rebellious these days, what could be more rebellious than a tattoo? I waffle back and forth over this, but when I'm feeling really naughty, a tattoo just seems like the right thing to do. When I get a reality check, I think, sure tattoos are fun and naughty but what could you possibly want to be marked with for life??

Two thoughts I've had have been to get one on my wrist...

either of the Irish word "Saoirse" which means "Freedom."
or of a sparrow, which is also supposed to symbolize freedom.

But maybe nothing screams Quarterlife Crisis more than a well-placed tattoo that symbolizes freedom. And maybe tattoos are just tacky altogether. I used to kind of think so, but like I said - this rebellion is sort of going to my head...

Opinions?

I'm "that girl."

2010-01-10T19:59:00.000-05:00

Don't know what "that girl" is? Click here.

I have an impressive ability to attract the weird, the strange, the awkward, creepy or uncomfortable. Although my talent is not limited to men, (I've had more than my fair share of wacko roommate, ex-friends, and work colleagues) I certainly do possess a special flair for picking up unusual situations. I spend a decent amount of time wondering how this happens, and the only thing I can figure is maybe I'm just more "open" than other people. By open, I mean, there must be something about my personality that suggests that I am okay with other situations people would normally find wonky (weird, whacked out, messed up, not working for no definable reason). Either that or the look on my face says, "babe in the woods." Maybe I am just naive and that's what gets me in trouble.

The real problem: trouble can be just too damn much fun for me to turn it down sometimes.

When did your ♥ go missing?

2010-01-09T14:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Blog,

I've been away, and obviously haven't kept with my flimsy resolution to write on you every day. Ever so sorry. Will return soon...perhaps tomorrow. Til then... a favorite poem from William Carlos Williams.

This Is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

♫ If I don't get some shelter, yeah, I'm gonna fade away... ♫

2010-01-06T20:15:00.000-05:00

1. Pick a band and answer only using the band's song lyrics:

The Rolling Stones

2. Are you male or female:

"She's so cold, she's so cold, cold, she's so c-c-c-old, but she's beautiful, though..."

(She's So Cold)

3. Describe how you feel about yourself:

"I'm free to sing my song knowing it's out of trend, so love me, hold me, love me, hold me, 'cause I'm free to get what I want any old time..."

(I'm Free)

4. Your best piece of advice:

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you just might find, you get what you need..."

(You Can't Always Get What You Want)

5. Describe your last relationship:

"This coming and going is driving me nuts, this to-ing and fro-ing is hurting my guts ... you're not the only one that's feeling lonesome, you're not the only one with mixed emotions..."

(Mixed Emotions)

6. Describe your last crush:

"I can't get no satisfaction. 'Cause I try and I try and I try and I try. I can't get no, I can't get no..."

(Satisfaction)

7. Say something to someone you have a crush on or love:

"No sweeping exits, or offstage lines, could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind, wild horses, couldn't drag me away, wild, wild horse, couldn't drag me away..."

(Wild Horses)

8. Say something to an ex:

"Heartbreaker, heartbreaker, you stole the love right out of my heart, heartbreaker, heartbreaker, I wanna tear your world apart..."

(Doo Doo Doo Doo Doo - Heartbreaker)

The good thing about music...

2010-01-05T20:32:00.000-05:00

is when it hits you, you feel no pain... ♫

I made a small NY Resolution to myself that I would try to write on my blog every day. I have a feeling that's going to get tough later on, but for now, I'm going to try and keep up. Tonight, I have a lot of personal relationship stuff on my mind, but as you faithful readers know, I don't like to hash all the details out here. Instead, I thought I would just post some lyrics to a favorite song of mine. First, I love the song (Warning Sign) and the band (Coldplay) and second, I feel like this song says, in the most eloquent and poetic way, all the things that I am feeling and thinking. More importantly, it says all the things I want to say to that person I'm thinking of. So, without further adieu...

A warning sign,
I missed the good part then I realized,
I started looking and the bubble burst.
I started looking for excuses.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is, I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

A warning sign,
You came back to haunt me and
I realized you were an island and
I passed you by,
You were an island to discover.

Come on in,
I've gotta tell you what state I'm in,
I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones,
That I started looking for a warning sign.

When the truth is,
I miss you.
Yeah the truth is,
That I miss you so.

And I'm tired,
I should not have let you go.

So I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms.
And I crawl back into your open arms.
Yes, I crawl back into your open arms...

Gimme gimme symphonies ♫ ...

2010-01-04T20:29:00.000-05:00

gimme more than the life I see...

First day back at work in 2010 was SNAFU (situation normal: all f*cked up) and I'm really not surprised. Things were non-stop, no one was working very cohesively, and patrons were ultra demanding. I don't really think that is necessarily a bad sign for the future. In fact, I tend to think you're un-American if you don't complain about your job. It's just what Americans do. We go to work, we b*tch about work, and then we go to work some more. I know that's what I do.

In other news: I want this shirt. But I think I'm going to get it in either red or black. It's just too bad I can't wear it to work...

And another BTW, iTunes is featuring a free song download this week from artist Dan Black. The song is called "Symphonies" and I love it! I have had it on constant rotation and even added it to my gym mix! Check it out if you're in the mood for something new...

Somewhere over the rainbow...

2010-01-03T14:14:00.000-05:00

Let's hope that the dreams that you dare to dream to dream really DON'T come true.

Sometimes dreams are easy to decipher. You may dream about something you read or watched earlier. You might dream about something you've been thinking a lot about. And sometimes, our dreams come straight out of left field and we're left wondering WTF we just dreamt. Last night was one such night for me.

First, I dreamt that I found a check written out to me that I had forgotten to cash. Awesome, right? Well, this check was only $46. I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth or anything, but forty-six is a pretty random and relatively insignificant amount to dream about. Does the number 46 mean anything to me? No.

Secondly, I dreamt that I had somehow reconnected with my ex. (In real life, the chances of this happening are slim to none. And I really have no desire for it to happen, more to the point.) We were driving around in some beat up black pick-up truck and we were going to meet his parents for dinner...at the Waffle House. If you know my ex, all of this sounds just about right. He's not exactly one to live "high on the hog," if you know what I mean. Anyway, we met up with his parents at the WaHo where we had ... spaghetti ... for dinner. I'm fairly certain that Waffle House has never, nor will they ever, serve spaghetti. I'm not sure what the significance of us eating spaghetti at a Waffle House is, but it was weird to say the very least. Another strange detail, while we were walking into the restaurant I had on a sort of aqua colored sweater dress and I was most definitely wearing it 'the right way.' Later in the dream, while we were eating, I looked down and suddenly my dress was on backwards. Makes no sense!!! After we finished eating, we got back in his truck and he took me to a house, where I presume I must have been living (in the dream at least) since all of my clothes and things were there. He waited in the truck, while I went into the house and started packing a bag of clothes and things, and his parents (who mysteriously and randomly showed up in this part of the dream too) were talking about us (my ex and I) moving in together. Ew. Ew. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. That's all I can say about that.

I woke up feeling hot and sweaty and confused. I haven't spoken to or seen my ex in over a year now, and we've been broken up for... something like 3 years and... 10 months. I don't think of him fondly. In fact I more often think about how he ruined some parts of my life, or rather, I ruined parts of my life in order to be with him. So I have no clue as to why I'd dream about reuniting with him, much less moving in with him. As for the other details, all of which are strange and baffling, I have no clue to their significance either. As the byline states, "let's hope that the dreams that you dare to dream really don't come true..."

About "Exile on Main Street"

2010-01-02T18:09:00.000-05:00

Just for fun, I thought a little introduction to my blog might be a good place to start for the new year.

Why is your blog called "Exile on Main Street," and what does it mean?

Exile on Main Street is the title of The Rolling Stones tenth album (see cover art above) the title is a nod to my love of the Stones and when I titled my blog, I felt like the phrase was very descriptive of my life and it still is. While I live in the deep South, my family isn't "old Southern," and in fact, I grew up a military brat. I might look the part of the "southern belle" but my heart really isn't in it. I realized this more than ever when I started teaching and I felt like I was always on display. I always took the title of this album to describe a feeling of being exiled, yet not banished somewhere far away, but still right in the middle of everything and everyone. Like being on Main Street. Keith Richards described how the Stones even felt sort of like exiles while making the album because they ended up doing a lot of things they never intended to. So, my blog is titled this way to describe my feeling of being in exile...on Main Street. I might be in the middle of everyone and everything, but I don't really feel like a part of it or that I belong.

What do you like to write about?

Well, what don't I like to write about?! Since starting my book blog See Jayne Read, I've moved all of my book reviews over there. In this blog, I like to write about funny things that happen to me, I love to use it to vent and complain. Sometimes I use it as a soapbox and write essays on current events-type topics. One thing I try not to write about are the details of my love life. I used to have a Xanga in college and I was very open and not afraid to drop names and major details into my blogging, but I've learned lots of hard lessons in the past about that sort of thing. So one thing you'll probably never know (at this point anyway) about me is who I'm dating or what we're doing, etc. If I do write about my love life, I keep it generic. One thing I can tell you? I love men. Especially bad ones.

Loves:

♫ Music. Lattes. Shopping. Georgia Football. My dog, Ruby. Anything that smells like Lavender and Vanilla. Unsweet tea. Slow dancing. Irish Car Bombs. Books. Pretty dresses. Lacy underthings. Being the last thing people expect. Running all my stress and blues away. Irish history and culture. Shark Week. Long hugs. Headbands. High heels.

Un-Loves:

People who think swearing and drinking are the worst habits you can have. Lima beans. Working on Saturdays. Loud chewing. Colored jeans. Being pigeon-holed. Local commercials. People who are afraid to be single. Bananas. Screaming children in public. Saying goodbye. Feeling "stuck." Cold feet.

2010: A Year In Preview

2010-01-01T16:15:00.000-05:00

What I did New Year's Eve 2009:

On this, my 24th New Year, nothing very extraordinary or exciting happened to me. It's the first New Year's Eve in at least 3 years that I've had to work, so that was unusual and made NYE seem like any regular day. I worked 8 hours and came home to an empty house and sat around and typed on my blog for a while. While this seems boring and mundane or even lame, I was pretty grateful for the quiet and alone-time, both of which are rare for me these days. At about 7pm I headed over to a family friend's where I watched (and slept through some of) the Chick Fil A Bowl. After the game, we all watched Travis Pastrana's special and didn't even bother changing the channel to a countdown. 2010 was rung in by me looking at my phone and saying, "Uh...it's midnight guys..." After the customary mass text telling everyone to have a great New Year, I headed back home and ended up ringing in the New Year by talking with my dear friend Nathan on the phone til almost 4am. All in all it was a very "chill" NYE, and I couldn't have been happier about it. Plus it was great to talk and reminisce with Nate. I miss him a lot since he is in Nashville.

Today has been even more "chill" (aka boring) than last night. I laid around for a long time this morning, and as we type this, I'm still wearing "lounge wear." All I've done today is walk my dog, clean my room, and do some dishes. Yeah yeah, I know - I'm not an exciting person, but I actually had an invitation to go out of town for the weekend and I declined. The truth is/was, I just didn't feel like doing much of anything. As I've said in the past, 2009 was my least favorite year, as years go and I felt like celebrating its end by just taking it easy. So now that 2009 is finally over, I guess some thoughts are in order about my hopes and plans for 2010.

Goals - Plans - Aspirations

As of the first week of January, my applications to five graduate schools should be complete. I've applied at UGA, Tennessee, Texas, Florida State, and Ole Miss for an MA in each school's Higher Education Administration or College Student Personnel program. I'm hoping to hear a positive reply from someone by February, but some schools may take a little longer to make a decision.
Grad School Plan B: If, for some reason, I'm not accepted to any of the programs of my choice, I'm also planning to apply for acceptance to some other programs, although as yet, I'm undecided about where and what for. Additionally, I plan to apply to the DODEA (Department of Defense Education Activity) for acceptance into their teaching program. If I were to be accepted, I'd likely request an overseas assignment and would be teaching on a US base in a foreign country.
March 15, 2010, I plan to run my first ever 5k (the 3rd Annual 5k Dawg Trot Run/Walk held in Athens on campus at UGA) with my good friend Christy. Although I've been working out pretty steadily since September, I'm planning on ramping it up a little in preparation for this run. It might be a little challenging for me, but I'm really looking forward to it!
If possible, I'd like to attend a concert for a band I really enjoy, like Coldplay or U2.
Starting work at the library has really opened me back up to the joy of books and reading. I plan to keep reading and adding to my book blog, See Jayne Read. Even if no one else looks at it, I enjoy the results and opportunity to do two things I love: read and write.

Fears - Worries - Things to Overcome

I'm turning 25. Twenty-five. 10+10+5. Two decades and five years. Have I done enough? What have I done?
What if I don't get accepted into the program I want? I know I have a Plan B, but I really don't want to have to use it...
Must stop being tardy to work almost every day. Lately, tardiness isn't something I really care about. Come to think of it, I don't much care how people view me these days. This is both good and bad. But, if I can help it, I'd like not to be late so often.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." 1 Corinthians 10:13

2009: A Year In Review

2009-12-31T16:45:00.001-05:00

JANUARY 2009
Where did you go on New Year's? I honestly don't remember. I might have been at my parent's? Maybe I was with friends? Wherever I was, I can't remember!

Did you have a New Year's Resolution this year? I also don't remember this either.

Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? No, but I'd love to go someday.

FEBRUARY 2009
Who was your Valentine? I did not have one.

What did you receive for Valentine's Day? My mom usually always gets me candy or something like that. I'm sure I also got candy and gifts from students too. I don't know, February was honestly one of the suckiest months of my life!

What did you give for Valentine's Day? Nothing!

MARCH 2009

What did you do for St Patrick's Day? This Saint Pat's was one of my favorites because I celebrated with my students. We took a break from Romeo & Juliet and I taught them all about Saint Patrick's Day. It was really fun to share that with my kids, because most of them did not know anything about Irish history or culture.

APRIL 2009
Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year? A lot of my good memories from 2009 are with my students. I played lots of practical jokes on them this year. In every class, I pretended like we were having a test that day, and I was so convincing I could hear a couple kids cussing under their breath! I also "punked" two of my students by writing them up, pulling them out of class and walking them halfway to the office before I told them it was all a joke! It was hilarious and I think they enjoyed it too!

Do you get tons of candy for Easter? Actually this year, my Mom just bought be a huge box of one candy I really like, those little Ferrero Rocher things....mmmmm.

MAY 2009
What is your favorite flower? I would have to say that I love the smell of lilacs, so they are probably my favorite. I also really like gladiolas.

Is May anything special to you? Well, May is special to me in that my parent's anniversary is in May. Also, I graduated from LCHS and UGA in May, so it is also an anniversary of those achievements.

JUNE 2009
Did you do anything fun during this Month? In June I'm pretty sure I went to the beach, went to the lake, I might have done some traveling to Athens and Florida as well. It was fun because school was out and I was still being paid. But, it was also weird because I knew I wouldn't be going back to teaching in the Fall. So I was also going on a lot of interviews in June.

Have a favorite baseball team? I used to watch the Braves a lot when I first went to college, but I have long since traded baseball in for football. Football games seem shorter and are just more fun and action-packed.

JULY 2009
What did you do on the 4th of July? I went with my family to Lake Blackshear and we spent the day on my parents' boat. Lots of fun!

Did you go to the fireworks? We watched the fireworks on the Lake from the boat. This was my second year in a row at Blackshear, and many other years prior, I've watched fireworks there as well, so I guess it's kind of a tradition.

AUGUST 2009
Did you have a sunburn? Not that I can remember. August was a really weird month for me. I should have been getting ready to go back to school, but I decided not to teach so I was still looking for jobs.

SEPTEMBER 2009
Are you attending college/school? In May I made the decision that I would return to college for graduate school full-time in Fall 2010. So a lot of the end of this year has been spent preparing for that.

Do you like fall better than summer? I think Fall is my favorite time of the year because of the weather, football, my birthday. Fall just seems like a great time!

What happened this month? I turned 24 and I have to say that it was the CRAPPIEST birthday of my entire life. Most people did not remember that it was my birthday and I didn't do anything special for it. I actually went on a job interview on my birthday, and luckily I did land the job. But other than that, there really wasn't anything exciting or special about it. I also started going back to the gym the day before my birthday, and I guess that was good because I began getting really motivated about working out.

OCTOBER 2009
Whats your favorite candy? I love dark chocolate and those Ferrero Rocher candies!

What was your favorite thing(s)about this month? I had a lot of fun spending time with my brother before he left for Afghanistan, I enjoyed working at UGA football games, made some great new friends in Athens, and reconnected with an old friend from college, which was great too. I also took the GRE which was exciting because I needed good scores to begin applying for graduate school!

What were you for Halloween? I did not dress up. I don't even remember what I did. Probably nothing.

NOVEMBER 2009
Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? I spent Thanksgiving at two houses. We were in Indiana for my Great-Grandad's funeral, so I spent the first part of Thanksgiving with my Dad's side of the family at my Aunt Connie's house in Rennselaer and the second half with my Mom's side at my Grandma's in Merrillville.

What are you thankful for? I'm thankful for my family and friends, for the chance I got to teach my students, for my sweet dog Ruby, for high heels, football, alone time, shopping, all the things that make me smile and enjoy life.

Anything exciting happen this month? I had a lot of good weekends in Athens with friends and I also got to spend quality time with lots of people in my family that I rarely get to see. We came together for something sad, my Grandpa's funeral, but it was also a happy time because we got to be together.

DECEMBER 2009
Do you celebrate Christmas? Of course.

Get anything special last year? Not really. Most people just give me money now that I'm older, or buy me things I collect. So every year I get lots of UGA stuff, houses for my Christmas village, and snowflake ornaments. I also bought myself Viva La Juicy perfume with some of the money, so I was pretty excited about that.

What do you want this year? All I really wanted is for someone to fix some things on my car, like some damage on the front and back bumpers, and I need a new taillight. But I didn't get that.

What do you love most about December? I used to really enjoy Christmas, but I didn't this year. Hope next year is better/different!!!

10 years ago: I was 14 and I was in 9th grade at Lee County High School. It was 1999 and everyone thought we were going to experience Y2K. I remember I even had a friend whose dad bought a generator for their house. I celebrated New Year's at home with my parents, my grandparents, and several of their friends and their friends' children. I remember we were all really lame and dorky and made all these "Happy New Year 1999" signs, and I'm pretty sure I rang in 2000 wearing a Ducks Unlimited shirt.... oh how the times do change....

I'll be fine and dandy...

2009-12-09T11:21:00.000-05:00

"Lord it's like a hard candy Christmas, I'm barely gettin' through tomorrow, but still I won't let sorrow bring me way down..."

What's Getting Me Through The Holiday Season:

Thurl Ravenscroft's "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch," Louis Armstrong's "Winter Wonderland," and Dolly Parton's "Hard Candy Christmas." These three songs get me singing along no matter what kind of mood I'm in.
Running. Face it, with the copious amounts of coffee I'm drinking and the holiday gatherings - burning off calories is a good thing. Not to mention the stress it relieves.
Black yoga pants. Every day, when I come home for work, I immediately put these on. I also run in them in the mornings. So I guess if I didn't have them, I'm not sure what I'd do except maybe go pantsless or just wear other, less comfortable pants.
Lattes from Brown Bean Cafe. A must for those grinchy days I seem to be having.
Cute headbands from Old Navy.
Sleep. Yeah, lots of it. Sometimes I sleep just so I can be alone for an extended period of time!

Current Dislikes:

Patrons who reek strongly of cigarette smoke. DISGUSTING!!
Being perpetually tardy in the mornings.
Not making more money so that I don't have to watch every penny!!!
Waiting for news on grad school applications! Very trying for my patience!

The waiting is the hardest part...

2009-12-04T10:04:00.000-05:00

Can 2009 please be over, and soon?

Although I realize that 2009 is, in fact, drawing to a close even as we speak (or I write) I can't help but express my wish that it be over soon. I've been through so much this year and there are so many times I just don't feel like myself. Normally Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love to decorate and shop, and listen to Christmas music. And this year I just don't feel in the mood. I'm forcing myself to listen to nothing but Christmas music in the car, but so far it hasn't taken hold and I can't help but feel a little grinchy...

And another thing that vexes me these days is my "love life." I hate to even say the word love, as I don't really feel like it describes anything I'm feeling these days. So maybe "romantic situation" would be more fitting, but then my situation isn't all that romantic either. EITHER WAY - I feel frazzled over the whole thing. I've gotten myself into a situation that I am neither willing nor capable of getting out of. And I'll be honest, as easy as it is to be mad at him (and believe me, it is EASY) I can really only be frustrated with myself. I chose to get involved and now, well, I guess I just have to deal with whatever happens or comes up. It started out being fun and it made me feel good ... no great. But now I just feel confused and honestly, unfocused. I feel like I'm really spending too much time thinking about him and a situation that is pretty meaningless and going absolutely nowhere. I don't really want to end things BUT I do feel like I just need to get my head clear. Running helps. Running is great for clearing my head, but the minute I leave the gym, my mind is just a jumble again.

And now I know why I feel grinchy. I feel like my life is on pause and I can't stop thinking about everything that has happened this year. I mean, face it, when you're reserving self help books at the library and googling "Quarterlife Crisis," you've probably reached the end of an unraveling rope. I just feel like I have gone through so many changes, and I want my life to take on a whole new direction, but I've been put on pause. If I want things to move forward, I have to be patient and wait for things to fall into place, and let's face it, patience has never been my strong suit.

I hope this post doesn't smack of negativity, but I really needed to get my thoughts out today! It doesn't fix everything, but it helps...

I'm not mad...I'm just annoyed.

2009-12-03T10:52:00.000-05:00

And yes, there is a difference.

I've been sick for pretty much the past two and a half weeks. I finally gave up hope that I was suffering from a cold and decided it was time to switch back to taking allergy meds regularly. (I was on perscription Allegra while in college, but got lazy and quit taking it after about a year.) I stopped by the Wal Mart and picked up some OTC 24 hour Zyrtec, and to my great joy - this did the trick! No more sore throat, no more runny nose, no more bloodshot eyes! Much to my dismay, it made me feel pretty wonky. I thought I was just tired from the rain, so I decided to have a coffee with two espresso shots...and when that espresso combined with the drowsiness-inducing Zyrtec, I felt like I was drunk!!! Needless to say I didn't get anything done at work yesterday. I put about two or three books up and I have TWO WHOLE CARTS full of books waiting on me today. BOO.

Adding to my frustration, there is a never-ending stream of crazy patrons who come to our library. I don't know if people expect me to be Susie Sunshine all day, every day or what, but this is just an example of what annoys me at work:

Random lady: I need these DVDs, I used self check out.

Me: Okay, thanks.

Random lady: Do you need to see my receipt?

Me: You're good... (briefly scans receipt)

I get the DVDs, take them back to the counter, and start putting them in their cases.

Random lady: Do you need to see my receipt? (waves receipt in my face...never a good thing)

Me: No, you're good. (pause) Alright ma'am, these are due back on December 16th.

Random lady: So you don't need to see my receipt? It's right here.

Me: (I'm gonna be honest, I probably had a look on my face like WTH is wrong with you!?!?!) I got it ma'am.

Random lady: I have a question for you.

Me: Sure.

Random lady: Is everything okay?

Me: (Again, I'm thinking, everything WAS okay til you came in here and weirded me out!) Um, yeah...everything's okay.

Random lady: You sure?

Me: Yeah, I'm sure.

Random lady: Okay. If you're sure.

Me: Okay then ma'am. You have a good one.

Can you say weird?!?!?!

Look, I don't want to sound cruel, but I just work here. I am not your BFF. I do not want to have a personal conversation with you. Please do not stick things in my face. Good grief. Some days are just too crazy for words!

An unloved blog...

2009-12-01T12:28:00.000-05:00

So...my poor blog has sat in a state of neglect ever since I started working. What can I say? Employed people just don't have as much time to write as unemployed people.

The past few months have been eventful and interesting. Honestly, I could hardly fit all the events of the past month into one concise blog post, nor would I care to mention some of the recent happenings of my life on the worldwide web for all to see. Let's just say that these days, I'm trying to make discretion my middle name. And boy is it hard work...

What I can tell you:

November saw the last three home games of my season as an Ambassador for Georgia Athletic Hospitality and the pitiful end of Georgia's season. I've been an active Georgia fan since I started college there in 2003 - and this is the worst record I've ever seen. A pitiful 7-5. Working for GAH/Colonnade turned out to be one of the best ideas I've had in a while. I got to be at every home game, make a little extra cash, and meet some amazing people. Being in Athens again reminded me of everything I enjoy, everything I want for the future, and everything I've been missing out on for the past few years since graduation.

I took the GRE in late October and have been working hard ever since on completing and submitting applications for graduate school. All told, I've applied at five schools thus far: UGA, Tennessee, Texas @ Austin, Ole Miss, and FSU. I'm thinking of throwing Alabama into the mix, and all the applications have been for Master's degrees in Higher Education Administration programs. Wish me luck because I'm banking on this one big time.

On a personal level, I just lost my Great Grandfather. Although he was 89 and we certainly didn't expect him to live forever, it still wasn't easy to say goodbye. At his funeral it was easy to see what an amazing man he was. He was a WWII veteran, a former volunteer fireman, a member of Al-Anon who continued his involvement to help others even after 29 years of sobriety, and a retiree from United States Steel. More than that he was a wonderful and loving member of our family who brought so much love, humor, and wisdom into our lives. I was sorry to see him pass, but glad for the time I was granted with him. Even in death he managed to bring the family together, as his funeral allowed our scattered family to come together and spend time with each other. Some of us had not seen each other in ten or more years.

So, as the holidays close in, I find I'm still shopping more for myself than I am for others, and not ready for Christmas...but here it comes anyway....

New motto...

2009-10-29T22:28:00.001-04:00

Who said there had to be rules?

2009-10-25T15:08:00.000-04:00

Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only what you are expecting to give — which is everything. What you will receive in return varies. But it really has no connection with what you give. You give because you love and cannot help giving.

Ownage.

2009-10-24T18:48:00.000-04:00

2009. Easily the worst year of my life. I lost friends, a job, my beautiful apartment, my freedom and a LOT of self esteem. Everything I thought I wanted and everything I thought I knew was turned on it's head.

Lately? It's not what I'd call great. There are still days I give myself the shakes trying not to cry. I'm vastly underpaid for my education and experience, and I still can't get my own place...but, there have been some reasons to smile lately.

Job = money = on my way to freedom.

GRE. Scored a 600 verbal and a 510 quantitative.

Now - it's time to apply for grad school!

Plus, I bought this wicked cute Juicy Couture flats and even though they pinch my toes (just a little) I love 'em!

MIA.

2009-10-15T18:49:00.000-04:00

For the past month or so, I've been trying really hard to write on my blog almost every day or at least fairly often, and now I've been missing in action for almost a week!!!

Where I've been:

I was recently offered a position as an Assistant Librarian at the Dougherty County Library, which I accepted. So that's where I've been! Working again has completely rearranged my whole routine. Where I blissfully had been acting as though I were a SAHM (stay at home mom) minus the kids, I'm now back into the Working Girl routine.

6AM - Wake up

6:30-7:45 - Gym

8:00-8:55 - Get ready

9:10-6:10 - Work

And then after work I morph into what I like to call Zombie Mode. I pretty much do nothing, say nothing, and feel nothing because I genuinely have no energy. Usually I just disappear into my bedroom and read from the Twilight series which I have recently become unwillingly obsessed with!

Show Us Your Life - Tailgates and Favorite Teams

2009-10-09T20:52:00.000-04:00

Recently I started reading a new blog, Kelly's Korner. We have a few things in common (SEC football) and I love reading her posts! They are always so interesting and inviting and I love the pictures of her adorable daughter, Harper, especially when she dresses her up for gamedays! In the future I hope to do the same with my possible children! Every Friday, Kelly does a post themed "Show Us Your Life." I have yet to participate on my blog, but this Friday, I just couldn't resist! This week's theme is Tailgates and Favorite Teams.

In case you didn't already know,

I'M GEORGIA

ARE YOU?

This picture is one of my favorites of me of all time. It was my freshman year and a home game vs. Kentucky. I watched with my brother Kevin and his friend Alex. Can you believe how cute I was?!

First game of my senior year at Georgia. And I'm still like everyone else, I know that I didn't appreciate college enough!!!! Those were the best days of my life!!! This picture was taken in the student section just in front of the jumbotron, my favorite place to sit!!! Some before game traditions that I love at Georgia, are, of course, "Calling The Dawgs," (you raise your fist and sort of spin it while saying 'Gooooooooooooo Dawgs! Sic 'em! Woof woof woof!') and the playing of old Georgia football victories before the game on the jumbotron to "Baba O Rielly" by the Who. You always know when you hear "Teenage Wasteland" that the game is about to start!!

Another game from my senior year - I love my floppy hat! I have had no other occasion to wear it other than to Georgia games!!! If you're not familiar with SEC football, we wear our Sunday Best to games! My cousins who attend Purdue think this is just silly, but it is one of my favorite traditions! Thus the strapless dress and hat! My favorite part about that hat? Some guy tapped me on the shoulder at the game and enthusiastically yelled, "I LLLLLOOOOOVVVEEE your hat," while drawing a heart in the air with his fingers. Sometimes you just gotta love being a southern girl...

GA/FLA. Otherwise known as The Brawl with a Drawl or The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. This is by far one of my favorite traditions! The only time I have actually attended the game in the stadium was this year, my Senior year. GA/FLA is such a big deal that UGA has always had it's Fall Break scheduled right before this game so students can drive down to Jacksonville and join the party! It's such a huge tradition that when President Michael Adams attempted to move Fall Break away from the game and penalize professors who cancelled class the day before break, he was widely criticized and his attempt was brutally crushed! Every moment of the game was fun and there truly was not a bad seat in the house! I have always loved the tailgating atmosphere, where everyone is a friend and you're all having one big party!

I'm such a huge Georgia fan, that when I was a teacher, I made all my students walk under the hallowed Let's Go Georgia sign!

We love our team so much, we even dress our dogs for gameday!!

This is a game last year that I watched at my parent's house. Even when we watch at home, we like to have a tailgating atmosphere! We dress in team colors, cook out, and invite over family and friends! Even if our friends like different teams it's always a great experience because we get to come together to enjoy the great sport of football!

I haven't been able to get tickets to the GA/FL game since my senior year at UGA, but I've started a new tradition with my cousin Melissa who lives near Jacksonville. Every year, I come down to her house, and even if we don't have tickets for the game, we go into Jacksonville to watch the game somewhere. Last year, we watched it at this amazing sports bar and grill called Sneakers! They had huge theatre sized screens everywhere and the place was packed out with Florida and Georgia fans! Even though I wasn't at the game, that didn't stop me from dressing up! And even though we lost, that didn't stop me from having fun!!

One of my favorite football traditions is taking place TOMORROW! One of my Dad's good friends is a MAJOR Tennessee fan. For five or more years now, we have an annual Georgia-Tennessee party! We switch off years, and whoever's team is at home hosts the party. Last year was our year, and I made this cake to celebrate the occasion! I always look forward to GA-TN and my Dad's friend Dwight makes the best stuffed mushrooms! Can't wait for tomorrow! GO DAWGS!!

Dear God

2009-10-09T08:49:00.000-04:00

Dear God,

I'm really confused and annoyed right now. So much so, that I can't sugarcoat it for anyone. I keep getting job offers, but they are jobs that either don't pay enough, or that I don't feel right about. I'm trying to trust my instincts to avoid ending up in an undesirable situation, but...am I missing something?

I don't feel like the little things I want out of life are too much to ask, but it seems like I will never get them. Maybe it is true that I will appreciate these things more if I have to struggle to get them. But what am I supposed to do in the meantime?

I don't feel like my gifts, talents or abilities are being put to use as I sit at home waiting for a suitable job. I am very thankful for my job in Athens. It has given me a lot of perspective and a chance to feel productive and happy again. But all the driving back and forth puts a wear and tear on my vehicle, causing me even more expenses. I feel like it is meant to be for me to work there, but it seems like there are so many obstacles in my path. I don't understand if this means that I am forcing something that doesn't fit and I should give up, or if I should just keep forging ahead past all the obstacles.

It weighs heavily on me that there is someone that I care about, but we are both involved in a questionable situation with each other. At times I can see how what's going on isn't right, but is caring for someone else really wrong? And even when I know that our actions together are wrong, I can't seem to stop the situation because I am afraid of losing someone I do care about.

I need help with clarification. As usual, I can see what's happening around me, but I can't make sense of it. I know I have a purpose and I have a dream, please help me find a way to make those things happen. I don't want to live a life that is "just good enough," or "just getting by." Is that wrong for me to want so much more? Please help me understand and find my way. Please watch over me and the people I love, and please help us all to see what makes us happy and find a way to make it happen.

The Proust Questionnaire

2009-10-05T13:38:00.000-04:00

The Vanity Fair Proust Questionnaire

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

A job where I can be industrious and I am appreciated, a place to live where I can meet lots of new and different people and easily make friends, a home that is comforting and clean, and the company of family and friends. And of course, football.

2. What is your greatest fear?

That I will not find someone that I both love and am in love with and that I will have to experience all of life's moments by myself.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

Jealousy and envy.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

Dishonesty and selfishness.

5. Which living person do you most admire?

In no particular order: January Jones, my parents, Martin Scorsese, and Dennis Lehane and Celia Rivenbark.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

Constant and continuous shopping.

7. What is your current state of mind?

Tired and hopeful with a pinch of angst.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Teetotalism (not drinking any alcohol).

9. On what occasion do you lie?

I find that I most often lie in connection with my romantic relationships. Otherwise, I usually tell too much of the truth where every other subject is concerned.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

I wish I had bigger, bluer eyes.

11. Which living person do you most despise?

I despise people who value their personal safety more than a worthy cause, I despise people who use their own beliefs to make others feel poorly, and I despise people who aren't brave enough to be themselves and would rather pander.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

Strength of personal convictions.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

Strength of personal convictions.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

Swell (only said with great sarcasm)

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

In all sincerity, I think Athens and UGA have become the greatest loves of my life.

16. When and where were you happiest?

I think the moments I've been happiest were those where I felt love and felt that love was returned or mutual. Whether it was a romantic relationship, a friendship, or even the love I felt for my students.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

The ability to write excellent fiction. I'm more of a non-fiction writer, but I would love to be able to write like Dennis Lehane or Sophie Kinsella.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My lack of a "poker face." I'm no good at hiding my emotions and thoughts from others, even when I am silent. My face is my tell.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

Being unafraid to stand up for what I believed in, even when I knew it might cost me everything. And eventually I do feel like it was the reason I lost my job and many other things. But I gained freedom, which has become far more valuable to me.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

I'm going to steal from Judd Apatow's answer to this question and say "a beloved dog." A life so simple and yet so fulfilling.

21. Where would you most like to live?

Athens, Georgia.

22. What is your most treasured possession?

My dog, Ruby. I'd trade any of my other possessions to keep her.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Being or feeling without purpose.

24. What is your favorite occupation?

I would love to be a recruiter or advisor for UGA or another big university.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

Most people would probably say that it's a tie between my humor and my honesty.

26. What do you most value in your friends?

Friends should never judge each other. If your friends will judge you, where can you go that is safe?

27. Who are your favorite writers?

Benjamin Franklin, Washington Irving, Celia Rivenbark, Dennis Lehane, Sophie Kinsella.

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

Rebecca Bloomwood of the Confessions of a Shopaholic series.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Katharine Hepburn. She lived her life unapologetically, whole-heartedly, and without regard for the criticism of others.

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

My hero is anyone who is courageous enough to go out in the world with a strong sense of who they are and never back down.

31. What are your favorite names?

I have so many and they change quite often. I like strong names that are unique, and sometimes surname-y. Examples: Maclaine and Selby for girls, Ridley and Tennyson for boys.

32. What is it that you most dislike?

People who dislike you without even knowing you.

33. What is your greatest regret?

If I regret anything it would be that I don't see people sometimes. I don't see them for what they truly are, and in that way I love some unworthy people and overlook some worthy ones.

34. How would you like to die?

Ideal death? Rose, from Titanic. An old lady, asleep, warm in her bed, having accomplished all she desired and loved all she could.

35. What is your motto?

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind." -Dr. Suess

Feeling deflated?

2009-10-04T19:22:00.000-04:00

I know why they say, "Every Dawg has his days,"

can't win every game we play, oh but you know we're gonna have our days..

From start to finish, it has been one crazy weekend.

Friday-

Late afternoon, I drive to Athens and meet up with my friend Lucy for a little shopping and a late supper at the Olive Garden. By the time we got back to Lucy's house in Winder and sat up talking for a bit, it was past midnight and I had to be up very early...

Saturday-

I woke up at about 5am to start getting ready to head to Athens. I arrived on campus at about 6:15, parked my car and walked to the stadium. For every home game, football ambassadors have to arrive 3.5 hours before kickoff, and a small group comes in about 9 hours before kickoff to ice down coolers in the suites. I was part of the small group this week, so we started icing at about 7am and worked for a good two hours. Icing is more than just putting ice in some coolers though, so don't be fooled! We have to haul the 40lb bags of ice up from the club level to the suites and ice every pull-out tray and cooler in each and every one of the suites on both the North and South sides of the stadium. After working for a couple hours, my friend Nicole and I went back to her sorority house to change and get ready for the game. We had plans to stop by a tailgate for a low country boil, but by the time we got ready we didn't really have time. I'm not sure if it was the early kickoff (3:35) or the picture perfect fall weather, but whatever the reason, Saturday's game vs. LSU was crazy!!!! Fans were incredibly drunk and rowdy!! It seemed like every 20 minutes a new situation was cropping up in SkyClub (my floor) and I had my hands full. From ambassadors with bad attitudes, to confiscated flasks of liquor and a guest who tried to get a little too fresh with me, I saw it all. Not to mention the heartbreaker of a game we played. The score volleyed back and forth only for us to lose after a questionable penalty called on us by the refs for excessive celebration.

Speaking of excessive celebration - losing our game didn't stop Dawg fans from hitting up the downtown scene all night and morning for the rest of the weekend. I had a ball with several friends from work and several good old friends. Most exciting was the fact that we visited several new bars that I had never been to, like Lansdowne Road Irish Pub and Boar's Head. After many good drinks, a few crazy moments, and a couple of drunk dials, we packed it in just before last call.

Sunday-

Even though I had barely slept for maybe 4 hours, I got up early and began the recuperative process. My family was planning to celebrate an early Thanksgiving today, so I knew I needed to be home at a fairly reasonable time. (Side-note, the reason we were celebrating an early Thanksgiving was for my brother Kevin who departs for Afghanistan for 8 months in just a few weeks.) At the behest of my mother, I stopped in Athens at Wal-Mart to buy an i-Pod Touch for my brother. All this, plus getting gas, some McDonald's, and other incidentals set me back about an hour. Finally, I got to driving and stopped only once to go to the bathroom and get a Gatorade. I was trucking along down the middle lane of I75 South when my tire blew....no excuse me, EXPLODED. I've been needing new tires for a pretty long time and my parents told me they were getting them for my birthday. Despite the fact that they told me that months ago and my birthday was actually almost two weeks ago, I was still driving on the same rickety tires. I spent almost two hours stranded on the side of the interstate waiting for Roadside Assistance to show up and change the tire. When I got home, I surveyed the damage and discovered that I had experienced much more than a blown tire. This blown tire swung up denting and marring my Escape's white paint, crushing the tail-light and smashing and loosening the back bumper. I have to admit, I almost cried when I saw the damage. The last thing I wanted to do is take a bunch of money out of my savings to fix my car. And of course, according to my parents it was "my fault" that any of this happened because my tires were bad and I didn't do anything about them. If you're confused, join the club because so was I!

So between Georgia's loss on Saturday and my car trouble today, and my brother leaving for Afghanistan, it has been a deflating weekend...

Help me name this cat!!!

2009-10-02T10:56:00.001-04:00

This weekend marks the third home game of the UGA Football season! I will, of course, be in attendance, but will be working in the SkyClub. I'm hoping that the Dawgs manage another win against LSU and that the weather holds out and we don't have any rain this weekend! Here's to good friends, good football, and good fun!!

In other news, we have somehow managed to acquire another animal. This adorable little kitten was hiding out in the workshop. It lacks a name, and we need some help thinking of one! We're trying to come up with something magic/magical. Names on the table are Sabrina (think Sabrina the Teenage Witch,) Winifred (think Winifred from Hocus Pocus,) and Athena (think the Greek Goddess.) If you have any suggestions, please leave them!!

Listen. Read. Watch.

2009-09-29T21:43:00.000-04:00

Haven't done this in a while and I'm thinking of making this a weekly feature. "Listen. Read. Watch." is basically a breakdown of my right now recommendations.

Listen.

Ursa Major by Third Eye Blind.

Sure we all loved Third Eye Blind in the 90's and remember them for songs like, "How's It Gonna Be?" and "Jumper." But they're back and I have to say I love their new CD. For the most part, they've kept the sound that made them so likable. For me, it's one of those rare CDs I don't mind listening to all the way through. My particular favorites are "Sharp Knife," "Bonfire," and "Why Can't You Be?" Check it out.

Anything Corey Smith.
Lots of people are quick to write him off as just a guy who sings country-type songs and plays in bars, but I think he's a very talented songwriter. He has a pure voice and doesn't overproduce his music. And so what if people love to party and drink while listening to his music? I don't see anything wrong with simple music that makes you feel good. For me, Corey Smith is much more than party music though. He captures all the nostalgia I feel for my college experience and the way that I still feel about Athens and the life I lived there. For his more soulful side, try "When The Sun Goes Down In Georgia" or "In Love With a Memory." And if you like just plain good fun, check out, "21" or "F*** the Popo."

Read.

Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt.
The first in a series of three memoirs written by the late Irish-American author Frank McCourt is stunningly beautiful. The son of two Irish immigrants, Frank was born in America only to move with his family back to Ireland at a very young age. He writes about the struggles he and his family faced in depression-era Limerick, Ireland with such an incredible sense of honesty and humor. The movie adaptation starring Emily Watson is also very good. This book was so touching, inspiring, and funny that I can't wait to read the sequels, 'Tis and Teacher Man.

Watch.

Community on NBC with Joel McHale and Chevy Chase.
If you've somehow missed Joel McHale on E!'s The Soup here's your chance for redemption. The premise is a group of community college misfits coming together to share the higher education experience. Complete with a recovered junkie, middle-aged divorcee, high school drop-out and former high school jock, this group of "students" comes together in brilliant moments of hilarity. McHale's timing paired with Chase's oblivious guy routine is comedic genius. It's only 30 minutes, but it's 30 minutes of wholesome goodness.

And just for fun...
Top 5 Most-Played Songs on my i-Pod:
1. 23 - Jimmy Eat World
2. I Love College - Asher Roth (this list is starting to make me sound like I have a Peter Pan complex!)
3. A Lifetime - Better Than Ezra
4. Breath - Breaking Benjamin
5. Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen

Handbag Happy

2009-09-28T19:57:00.001-04:00

I'm honestly too tired to do a long post today, but I did want to pop over and share a picture of the new purse I just bought from New York & Company. I really shouldn't have because I already own so many, but I couldn't help myself! And since it was my birthday last week, I sort of felt like I deserved it.

And while I was in NY&C I tried on several outfits with leggings and I give up! They just don't look good on me!!! It's one fall fashion I won't be sporting...

A day without football is like a day without sunshine!!

2009-09-27T16:46:00.000-04:00

Come rain or shine...

Bulldogs hang in!

What an exhausting weekend!!!

Brief Breakdown:

Friday - Left Albany at 12:15 and drove 3.5 hours to Athens. Stopped by Creswell and picked up football tickets and then stopped by Sanford to pick up my badge for SkySuites. Downtown for a little shopping and happy hour (Mothership Wit and Coors Light). Went to hotel and changed to get ready for Corey Smith concert. Got picked up in a ghetto, unmarked taxicab, but made it to the Classic Center alive. Will call for tickets...American Aquarium opened the show....and then....COREY SMITH!! He was GREAT! I had sooo much fun! (Budlight and a Jack & Coke) We left and headed out downtown. This is where it all gets fuzzy. I'm pretty sure we started at Flanagan's with my first-ever Irish Car Bomb. Loved it. I think then there was Buddha Bar (Pretty in Pink martini), The Winery (Femme Fatale), Bourbon Street (pretty sure I sat this one out), Genco (Sex on the Beach), Allgood (I really don't know....), Firehouse (Cranberry & Vodka), ...........(not sure)............... Walker's (Jägerbomb). EW. That Jägerbomb officially ended my night. While in Allgood, we ran into my dear old friend Kenny H. We worked at JCPenney together in college and it was great to see him again and live it up like the old days! I came home with a cut on my arm and two scratches on my leg. Oh, and this great Corey Smith t-shirt.

Saturday - Let me assure you that I moved very slowly and slept for quite a while on Saturday. Nonetheless, I was bright-eyed and busy-tailed by noon. Went lunch at Panera with the fam. Got to campus by 3:00, walked to the stadium, and started prepping for gametime! For those of you who don't know, I work as a Floor Manager for the SkyClub in Sanford Stadium. My job is to make sure other people are doing their jobs, everyone is having a good time, and no one is where they aren't supposed to be. It sort of feels like a course in crisis management, but I love it!! I especially love my host ambassadors! Most of them are hustlers and do a great job and make me smile!! This game was tough because of all the rain....not to mention the fact that we quite nearly went into overtime! Way to go Blair Walsh for the game-winning field goal!!!

Sunday - IHOP and a long long long drive home back to southwest Georgia. I'm so exhausted that all I want to do is take a nap, but of course, I'm too busy watching NFL football and keeping tabs on my Fantasy team. Looks like it's gonna be another close one.... *wink*

I'll leave you with a short video clip from Corey's concert. One of my favorite songs, "In Love With A Memory."

Love Happens...Or Not...

2009-09-24T13:09:00.000-04:00

While perusing the news online today, I noticed an article released by the Associated Press, Divorce in America. The report named counties in Florida and Indiana as having the highest population of divorcees and also discussed probable reasons for divorce in America these days. Among the reasons cited, the economy, alcohol and lax divorce laws were top contenders. This article got me thinking about the way that we look at love, marriage, and divorce.

As a little girl, I thought just like everyone else I suppose. I would grow up, go to college, get married and have kids. When I was young I had no concept of how difficult love and relationships can actually be. I didn't date much in high school and I'm not sure of the reason why. I think part of it was the fact that I seemed to fixate on guys who either had no idea I existed or were just plain not interested in me. Either way, I left high school a little inexperienced, but that's nothing that college didn't cure. In college, I was all over the map. I like to call myself "The One Date Wonder." Guys would ask me out, and flattered, I'd go with little consideration for our actual compatibility or interest in dating each other. I don't guess this dating history is that exceptional, except, that is, for what came next...

When I was a college freshman and a mere 18 years old (a definite babe in the woods) I met James through a mutual friend. We weren't introduced as a set up, more like just in passing. We started talking via Instant Messenger (gosh, the olden days when people still used AIM) and eventually I let him call me. When he announced his age, 31, I was definitely stunned and stupefied. But there was more. He was about to finalize his divorce and had two children with his ex-wife. Everything about James and his situation was the antithesis of everything I'd grown up wanting. I had imagined a college sweetheart who shared my goals and aspirations, a fairy-tale wedding and adorable offspring. Instead, I found myself having feelings for a divorcee twice my age with two young children. Despite all my misgivings, I ended up being involved with him for two years. He was my first kiss, my first....everything. *blush*

Turns out, I wasn't cut out to be a second wife or a stepmom, and in the end, he wasn't ready to make those moves anyway. But I did learn a lot from him and our relationship. They're time-tested cliches that everyone knows but no one ever really accepts until they experience them first-hand. Love doesn't come in perfect packages. Over three years after breaking things off with James, I find myself in another complex romantic situation. Without going into extreme details, I've somehow become the other woman. I'm definitely not happy about it, and it's got me thinking...am I not finding love because I'm attracted to all the wrong men??

If you follow any celebrity news, you know how much reporters and papparazzi harp on Jennifer Aniston and her perpetual single-ness. Jen is gorgeous, funny, and talented. It makes you wonder, why can't she find love? Is she like me, attracted to all the wrong men? And what happens to those of us for whom love just doesn't happen? AP's article says that almost 1/3 of Americans over 15 are unmarried, a number which has been on the rise for several years. While I appreciate the sentiment behind dating services like eHarmony and Match.com, I can't deny that such services smack of desperation, at least in my opinion. I have always believed that when that right match came along and it was the right moment, that love just happens.

And what if it doesn't? Well, there are so many things I want to do in this life and it would be really nice to have someone to do all those things with. But I'm starting to realize I might just have to do those things on my own, and I think I'm okay with that.

24 Things...

2009-09-22T11:05:00.000-04:00

Hello readers! Today I'm 24. That feels so old to me! I'm not feeling too nostalgic today, so I decided I would celebrate by telling you 24 things about me. Should you be bored enough to continue reading, I hope you enjoy!

1. My full name is Meghan Ann. Meghan was inspired by the book/miniseries The Thornbirds and it's main character Meghann Cleary. I never watched the series or read the book until last year and the fiery Meghann gave me a whole new appreciation for my name.

2. I did not have my first kiss until I was 18. I'm something of a perfectionist and I admit that I never really dated or kissed anyone before then because I hadn't met that perfect person or had that perfect moment. It was summer and nighttime and I had major feelings for James. It was the perfect kiss and I still have yet to be kissed like that by anyone else.

3. I've never had major surgery, any broken bones, or any overnight hospital stays.

4. I always wished my name was Kate. I'm not sure why, but I love the name. I'd be very surprised if I didn't end up with a daughter with Kate somewhere in her name.

5. On my first Halloween, I dressed up as a pumpkin.

6. When I first entered college at the University of Georgia, my major was History. I later changed my major to Journalism - Public Relations, and finally English.

7. I was never very athletic when I was younger, but I did play soccer for two years. In two years, I scored only one goal.

8. Growing up, my favorite movie was The Wizard of Oz.

9. When I was 10, my Mom came home and called my brother Kevin and I into the living room. She said she had something important to tell us, and asked if we knew why she had been going to the doctor so much lately. I guessed, "Your teeth?" (She had braces.) She was pregnant with my brother Calvin.

10. When I was little I was fascinated by sharks and learned all I could about them. It was for this reason, that when I was 5 I refused to go tubing in the Colorado River because, as I said, "Bull sharks have been known to swim upstream." When my Mom tried to comfort me with my swimmie arms, I looked right at her and said, "It says right here, 'DO NOT use as a flotation device.'"

11. In high school Spanish my Spanish name was "Estela."

12. When I was younger, I would always ask my Mom to make the same thing for dinner on my birthday: seafood enchiladas. They're enchiladas with crab meat, spinach and cheese. Sounds gross but I love them!!!

13. When I was little, my first word was "No," but instead of no, I said, "Nu-nu."

14. My parents used to call me "The News at 10" because I was always telling on people, especially my brother.

15. I have only said "I love you," to one of my ex-boyfriends.

16. The first time I ever drank alcohol was with my cousin Russell Stephen at Purdue University in Indiana. He had a party with his friends and they fixed me several rum and cokes.

17. The single place I have worked at for the longest period of time is JCPenney at the Georgia Square Mall in Athens.

18. My favorite professor in college was Doug Anderson. He is the head of the English department at UGA and was my mentor. I also almost threw up in his office on my 21st birthday. And it wasn't because of the flu....

19. I always wanted an American Girl doll when I was growing up but never got one. Samantha was my favorite, in case you're wondering.

20. There were two things my Dad would record on video for me when I was little. One was Little House on the Prairie (my favorite show) and Shark Week on the Discovery Channel.

21. The book I have read and reread the most is Little Women by Louisa May Alcott.

22. I've always wanted to visit Boston, but never had the opportunity.

23. I started playing the violin when I was 8 and quit when I was 13 because Lee County doesn't have an orchestra and I didn't like the director of the Albany Youth Orchestra.

24. I taught high school for two years, one of which was at the high school I graduated from.

Style Muse: January Jones

2009-09-21T15:03:00.001-04:00

There are a lot of reasons to like actress January Jones, also known as Betty Draper of the hit series Mad Men. She's a talented actress whose portrayal of stifled 50's housewife Betty is likeable and compelling. She's also a spokesperson for Oceana's campaign to save sharks which is a cause near and dear to my own heart. One thing I admire about her is her style! She's bold and risky but has a great sense for what looks good on her and what has a classic appeal. She's one actress I certainly wouldn't mind emulating. (Not to mention the fact that I have totally fallen in love with her name! January! How awesomely cool would that be for a future child??) Check her out below in her stunning dress for the Emmys and tell me you aren't wowed. Maybe if you aren't, you should start watching Mad Men...

A Very Unmerry Birthday...

2009-09-20T17:09:00.000-04:00

So scared of getting older, I'm only good at being young... -John Mayer

Remember when you were little and birthdays used to be the highlight of your year? You spent the month prior eagerly counting down the days and dreaming about what the presents and attention you would recieve and the fun you would have. Even as you got older, birthdays were still milestones. There was your Sweet 16 and being a "Real Adult" at 18, and then finally being "Legal" at 21.

Because this blog and my life have always been about honesty, I'll go ahead and talk about the elephant in the room. I feel like nothing fun has happened to me since I turned 21.

Before people start calling those "my friend needs help" hotlines, I'm not depressed persay. Just disappointed. Maybe I had overreaching expectations for my life or maybe I was spoiled and overly petted. Whatever the reason, I feel more than a little deflated about the turn my life has taken. I always thought if I worked hard in high school and in college that once I graduated, all my dreams would magically come true. And in case you didn't already know this, a college diploma is not a magic wand that transforms your life into a fantasy world with a shiny new SUV, adorable labrador puppies, a fulfilling career and a doting husband or boyfriend.

In reality, I don't have any of those things. My SUV is nice but it's older and I hit a deer with it over a year ago and haven't bothered to fix the crack in the bumper. My dog is actually better than a labrador, but she came from the pound and I have to feed her "weight control" dog food. I spent two years trying to be the best teacher I could, but in the end, I felt like I could not sell out enough to fit in. It's a little less Norman Rockwell in my world, and a little more ... Roseanne.

In the world post-graduation, it's been hard enough to deal with the pitfalls without having to think about my upcoming birthday. When you interview 10 times and are rejected 10 times, it's extremely difficult to feel like celebrating anything. After all, a birthday is about celebrating "YOU." And on the eve of my 24th birthday, I find myself asking, "Who am I and, quite frankly, what in the hell am I doing???" I have goals and aspirations but I am stuck in nuetral with no job, a dwindling bank account, and ever-changing relationships. In truth, since turning 21 I have looked upon every birthday with trepidation and dread. Birthdays have become "yearly evaluations" upon which I assess myself and my life. Am I any closer to having the things I want to have or doing the things I want to do? Are my relationships stronger, richer, or deeper? I can't help but feel like this year, all the answers will be fat and resounding NOs.

To be...or to go to DC.

2009-09-18T15:17:00.001-04:00

That is the question.

Hello readers! Yes, I just maimed Hamlet for my own personal gain. Moving on to more interesting news...

For those of you who have been following my pitiful and never-ending search for employment, I will take some time to update you.

Last Thursday marked my 10th interview and this Tuesday marked my 10th rejection. Life has definitely got me on my knees right now, and sometimes I'm not sure of the message it is trying to send. I won't say there's a silver lining to all the rejection and despair. Silver is a little too bright, a little too hopeful. What's something a little less shiny and pretty?

The Pewter Lining.
While on my quest for gainful employment (at this point, you would think that any kind of employment would be gainful, but you'd be surprised) I have now been offered two positions. The first position was one that I soul-searchingly contemplated. Close to a month ago I was offered a position as a Case Manager for the Albany ARC (Advocate Resource Center). The position is in the field of social work, and the duties ranged from managing in-home caretakers to serving as a round-the-clock resource for the disabled clients on your caseload. The ARC, to their credit was brutally honest about the position. If an in-home caretaker failed to show up for work and you could not find a replacement, you would be responsible for staying in the disabled patron's home overnight. If you were on call and someone needed to go the hospital, you would be expected to be there for however long was necessary. In addition to the demanding nature of the position, the pay was relatively low. While last year, I made 35k as an educator, I would be making a mere 24k as a case manager. Even here in Small-bany (Albany, GA) 24k is hardly enough money to subside upon. In a moment of utter desperation I began to tell myself all the things I always reserve for others. "Beggars can't be choosers." "The Lord helps those who help themselves." And for a moment I felt that I not only should take the position, but I had an obligation to. But alas, I could not sell out. I politely declined the offer, citing future plans to attend graduate school as the reason. The truth is, I made a decision based on my gut instincts. Every time I considered the position, the work it entailed, and the pay, my stomach did nervous, angst-y flip-flops. And despite all my cliched wisdom and clever adages, I knew that I have ignored my gut instincts about many jobs before and ended up paying the price for it later.

Today, I was offered a second position. This position is for a Federal Career Intern in the department of Training for the government agency HUD (Housing Urban Development). The job is located in Washington DC, and while I'm flattered and enticed by the offer, I already have a strong sense of reservation. The job consists of assessing the training needs of HUD employees and then developing and implementing curriculum to meet those said needs. The pay is 41k. While that's a lot higher than anything I've made thus far in my career history, bear in mind the fact that 41k in DC is not 41k in Georgia. In fact, CNN Money Calculator estimates that making 41,000 in Washington DC is the disparaging equivalent of 26,000. Rent at any decent place I could find online was in the range of 1000+ per month. Not to mention utilities, gas, groceries, regular bills and other incidentals. All of that is troubling enough, but coupled with the fact that this job pertains in basically no way to what I want to do in the future....

To put it lightly, I've got some thinking to do. As the Rolling Stones have said, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need..."

Football fills the cracks in my heart...

2009-09-14T10:09:00.000-04:00

Repurposed.

That's how I feel. Usually that is a term reserved for furniture or immovable objects, but I find it fitting. Even though I still haven't lucked out in finding gainful employment, my first weekend back in Athens was amazing. I'm even more convinced that Athens is where my heart is. I had a great time. Where to start? First of all, I always have fun with Lucy and Eric who graciously open their home to me whenever I'm in town. Hailey and I always have great adventures exploring downtown Athens. It was my first weekend working for GAH (Georgia Athletic Hospitality) and I loved it. It was a lot of work, no doubt, but I was just super enthused to be in hallowed Sanford Stadium on game day. Plus, there is no shortage of amazing and fun people that are also ambassadors. I was super happy with the people on my floor and even happier with the outcome of the game.

Fantasy Football just might save my life. Small things count and I am having fun right now with football season which is keeping me from feeling constantly crappy about my situation.

If I wrote a note to God...

2009-08-27T12:29:00.000-04:00

Dear God:

I'm not very good at praying. I never really was, and it's been especially hard lately. I wish that I were more like some people I know and that my prayer came easier, my faith was stronger and more constant. It seems like the only thing I'm finding constant these days are my struggles. It's hard to know where to start God. I know you know everything about me, but as much as I feel disconnected from many people around me, I feel disconnected from you too.

You know my sins. When I consider my own thoughts, they paint a picture of a small and petty person, lost in things like pity, grief, lust and anger. I don't like to think I'm that person. Who would? I wish I was more pure and I only desired transcendent things like love and faith, but I confess, I am not only a person in the world, but of the world. I don't want anything like fame, or millions of dollars, so that makes it all the easier to excuse my anger at not having what I want.

I'm not Job. Even though I feel like I weather more than my fair share of troubles, I can't stand up under them like a saint. I have always believed that you would never give me more than I could handle, but Lord, these days, it really does feel like too much for me to bear. Outwardly, it might seem like I have broad shoulders, but inwardly, I feel like I am collapsing under all the strain. Enduring more pain does not make me a more faithful and loving person, but instead, a smaller and more trivial person.

My thoughts are consumed with assigning blame. Who is responsible for the things going wrong in my life?? I want answers. I want retribution. Even if I assume some of the responsibility, I cannot turn the other cheek. I want to tell everyone what wrong has been done to me and who trespassed against me. I feel small, alone, and wronged. It is hard to believe that these things will make me stronger, and I wonder how much of my life will have to be spent in constant struggle and trial by fire? Is it my fault my life is this way? Have I brought this upon myself, God?

Right and wrong isn't so clear and easy anymore. The things I thought I knew were wrong, are easy to make excuses for. If I'm a sinner, bound to sin no matter what, when do I know where to draw the line? If I am already sinning in my thoughts, why should I not sin in action? And how can it be a sin to care for someone, maybe love someone? The things I would never write here, you already know God. I am so misguided in so many ways. I don't see a way out and I can't tell the difference between your plans for me, and what just happens here on Earth.

I used to strongly believe you had plans for me, but now I don't know what they are or how to find them. Maybe, in my own anger I have blocked out your voice. I know I drown out the voices of people here on Earth, so why not you as well. God, I can't handle this all on my own, and I don't know which choices are right or wrong anymore. I know that I've been faithless and wrathful and petty. I know I might not be worthy of divine intervention, but I'm asking anyway. Please show me a way out. I feel trapped and stifled and dead inside. Help me overcome my own anger and self-pity. Help me be more than the feelings that other people evoke in me. Help me find my way again, and please teach me how to be the kind of person I want to be not only in the good times, but the darkest and most troubling hours.

She would change everything, everything...

2009-07-20T08:47:00.000-04:00

just ask her...

8 Firsts...

First Best Friend: Jenna McGowan

First Kiss: James Griffin

First Screen Name: PinkSnowflake22

First Pet: Daisy

First Piercing: Ears

First Crush: Jon Hannaberry (lol...give me a break!)

First Music: Peter Cetera

First Car: Ford Taurus

7 Lasts...

Last Cigarette: Never

Last alcoholic beverage: Over a week ago, something called a Blue Shark. Killer stuff.

Last Car Ride: Yesterday evening, home from Wal-Mart

Last Movie Seen: Up!

Last Phone Call: Mom

Last CD Played: Hollywood Undead

Last thing you ate: Um...milk and cookies last night.

6 Have You Evers...

Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: No

Have You Ever Broken the Law: Duh

Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: Um, no.

Have You Ever Been on TV: Yes

Have You Ever Had Sex: What do you think?

Have You Ever Kissed someone of the same sex: No

5 Things....

5 Things You're Wearing: I'm not wearing five things, I just got out of bed!

5 Things You've Done Today: go to the bathroom, check my e-mail, Facebook stalk, brush my hair, listen to music

5 Things You Can't Live Without: cell, e-mail, music, hot showers, clear nail polish

5 Places You've Been: Nashville TN, San Diego CA, LaFayette IN, Perry FL, and LeJeune NC

4...

4 People You Don't Want to Live Without: My Mom and Dad and my brothers

4 Favorite Foods: Broccoli Casserole, Spaghetti, Mexican, Strawberries

4 Things You Regret: sharing lesson plans with teachers who hated me, not buying those shoes I saw on sale at Nine West, not kissing someone when I had the chance, driving too fast on Hwy 32

4 Places You Would Like to Visit: Ireland, Boston, Key West, and Hawaii

3 People You Can Tell *Almost* Anything To...

1. Kansas Kimsey

2. Christy Steadman

3. Jana Webb

2 Choices...

1. Winter or Summer: Fall

2. Hot or Cold: Hot

1 Thing You Want to Do Before you die...

Fall in love all over again

Until you've seen this trash can dream come true...

2009-07-14T20:06:00.000-04:00

you stand at the edge while people run you through,

and I thank the Lord there's people out there like you...

Bits & Pieces:

- I normally shun cheesy sayings, but sometimes you just can't ignore how true they are. Case in point? I didn't go to college to find a husband, I went to find my bridesmaids. I love you Christy, Lucy, and Aimee!

- I went to Sephora at the Mall of Georgia for the first time and I am in love. What better store for a girl?? First purchases: Tarte eyelash curler and Ralph Lauren Romance.

- Why think about your own drama when you can watch someone else's? Check out the Real Housewives of New Jersey.

- When a book can make you cry, you know it's good. Try My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Piccoult.

- $30 is worth it for a pair of Sperry's flip flops.

- I still find myself asking how I could be such a magnet for men that are a) strange b)unavailable c) demanding or d) all of the above

- Still haven't seen Public Enemies. Still want to.

- I really believe Jon Gosselin is a role model for male douchebags across the world.

The ABCs of Me

2009-07-09T11:23:00.000-04:00

A - Age: 23

B - Bed size: Um, right now? Twin! My full-size bed is in storage! Boo!

C - Chore you hate: Dusting

D - Dog's name: Ruby

E - Essential start your day item: Shower!!

F - Favorite color: I don't really have a favorite, but I wear lots of black!

G - Gold or Silver: I like both!

H - Height: 5'2"

I - Instruments you play/played: Violin

J - Job title: Unemployed. Ew. It just sounds awful.

K - Kid(s): Maybe someday...

L - Living arrangements: Currently at my parents' til I can find a job and MOVE!

M- Mother's Name: Kelly

N - Nicknames: Meg, Megs, Meggy, Mac.

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Nope

P - Pet Peeve: Um, I have lots. Loud chewing is a big one!

Q - Quote from a movie: I have tons! My favorite ever??? Probably - "Havin' dreams is what makes life tolerable," from Rudy!

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Siblings: Kevin and Calvin

T - Time you wake up: These days? 7 is the early side, 9 is the late side.

U- Underwear: ??? Yes, I wear underwear!

V - Vegetable you dislike: Ew. Lima Beans, Carrots, Peas. Bleeechhh.

W - Ways you run late: Changing my clothes again...and again...and again...

X - X-rays you've had: Um...on my hand and knee once after a car accident.

Y - Yummy food you make: White Lasagna

Z - Zoo favorite: Peacocks. And Lemurs.

Instant Karma???

2009-06-30T20:58:00.000-04:00

Oh, if only. Had an interview today for a great company in Norcross. I really thought the interview went exceptionally well and was in a great mood. I think the picture above explains it all. I got pulled over about 10 minutes from home by a female State Trooper. That was super fun and needless to say we didn't have much to talk about because she had pretty much decided to issue a ticket as soon as she clocked me. I mention the she part because I honestly think I would have had better luck with a male cop. Or maybe I would have had better luck if I would have been paying attention to how fast I was going. I can honestly say that I wasn't consciously choosing to speed. I just wasn't paying any attention. I mean...6 hours in the car...of course I had stopped paying attention. I'm sure it will be a nice, big, fat fine. Grrrrr. I'm just so mad! I had been three years without a citation and yeah........

and my heart's not breakin...

2009-06-29T11:07:00.000-04:00

'cause I'm not feeling anything at all...

Have you ever looked back at things and wondered how things get so messed up sometimes? I'm in between these days and so I guess I spend a lot of time thinking about the past and what I don't regret and what I don't understand, and what I wish was maybe a little different. I would love to say that I'm the kind of the person who doesn't have regrets but, in the words of the late, great Kate Hepburn:

"I have many regrets and I'm sure everyone does. The stupid things you do, you regret... if you have any sense, and if you don't regret them, maybe you're stupid."

So, long story short, there are a lot of things that I spend a lot of time thinking about. It's hard to regret the things that you've done in the past because I really believe that each moment leads to the next. So it's hard to say, "I wish I could take that back..." because you wonder what would have happened to you if you hadn't been naive or confused or just plain stupid. There are times when I'm a little mad that James was such a huge part of my life. Looking back even just a few years, I can easily see that he affected everything I did and didn't do, the things I said, what I thought I wanted. I see some things I messed up because of him, people I passed by without thinking about what I was doing or who I was hurting. And I look at him now and he's such a small person. Someone that I can't even imagine loving. How did I change my whole world for someone like that? And no matter how much I try to downplay what happened between us... the fallout is huge evidence that he changed everything about me.

That's the crazy part about love. Good love, bad love, any love changes you. Changes you completely. If it doesn't - it isn't really love. I think most people spend their lives trying to make sense of love and the way it changes us, and I don't think anyone ever really completely "gets it." There are so many different kinds of love, and there's a huge gap between love and in love. People talk about love making you free, but there are other sides of love too. It's really painful to read my old journal entries about James and I but even then, I think I got how messed up love could make you feel. One of my favorite things I've read so far I said almost exactly 4 years ago (June 2005) "Love CAN be liberating, but sometimes it's a prison."

And James isn't the only one that I've had a complicated relationship with. I used to be pretty uninhibited about name dropping, but I'm sort of beyond putting all my business out there these days. But needless to say, I've been in more than one very complicated and twisted relationship. Have you seen The Holiday? Okay, Kate Winslet's character, Iris...remember her relationship in the movie with ex-boyfriend, on again, off again Jasper Bloom?? I'm there. That's me! Sadly. Quite sadly. I used to watch movies like that and think that kind of relationship was a pure plot creation. Something to entertain. And now I know that those things appear in movies because they actually happen to people. I don't know about the fairy-tale stuff in movies, but I can vouch for the fact that the crazy, messed up situations are probably inspired by real-life events. Life is just crazy sometimes. So's love...

Let the rain fall down...

2009-06-26T17:34:00.000-04:00

and wake my dreams...

Finish these sentences...

1. I've been wanting to buy _____ but haven't gotten around to it yet.

- a laptop

2. When no one is around, you might catch an embarassed me singing ________.

- Toxic by Britney Spears or Come Clean by Hilary Duff

3. If I could have starred in any movie, it would be _________.

- The Godfather! Or Goodfellas! Classics!

4. I have been looking for _________ everywhere, and I can't seem to find it/them/etc.

- aviator sunglasses that don't look stupid on me

5. __________ is in my shower right now.

- Oh gosh - a lot! Sheer Blonde shampoo and conditioner, Organix Coconut Milk shampoo and conditioner, sensitive skin shaving cream, Bora Bora sand scrub, Tiare Flower body wash

6. You'll find _________ in my CD player.

- a new mix I made featuring Outkast, Kanye West, Katy Rose, Incubus, Story of the Year, Dave Matthews Band, etc.

7. I absolutely can't stand _______ but I am always nice to him/her anyway.

- Typically I'm not nice to people I can't stand. Sad but true. I'm a brass tacks kinda girl these days.

8. You'll never catch me without ____________.

- Probably my cellphone. I'm fanatical about not leaving it laying around for people to browse through.

9. I really think _________ should be illegal.

- stupid people. Just in general. No more stupid people!

10. If you turned my TV on right now, I'd be tuned to ________.

- Snapped on Oxygen. Sad. Really sad, but really true.

11. I always try to follow the advice __________ but have a really hard time.

- "stop talking to him,"

12. I don't like to admit that I've been described as ________.

- a tease

13. I always wanted ________ when I was a kid, but my parents said 'No' most of the time.

- to go out to eat (that used to be a luxury back in the day)

14. When I'm at work I'm __________.

- not at work anymore! I'm free!

15. To my ex, I would say ___________.

- nothing. It's been so long I really, sincerely do not care anymore.

Surveys are for cool kids...

2009-06-24T19:58:00.000-04:00

1. Pick a band and answer only using the band's song lyrics:

Coldplay

2. Are you male or female:

Just when you think you've caught her, she glides across the water, she calls for you tonight, to share this moonlight...

(Lips Like Sugar)

3. Describe how you feel about yourself:

Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost...

(Lost!)

4. Your best piece of advice:

People moving all the time, inside a perfectly straight line, don't you want to curve away?

(Strawberry Swing)

5. Describe your last relationship:

Nobody said it was easy, it's such a shame for us to part, nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, oh take me back to the start...

(The Scientist)

6. Describe your last crush:

Blame it on a rush of blood to the head...

(A Rush of Blood to the Head)

7. Say something to someone you have a crush on or love:

When the truth is, I miss you, yeah the truth is, that I miss you, a warning sign, it came back to haunt me and I realized, that you were an island and I passed you by...

(A Warning Sign)

8. Say something to an ex:

So you lost your trust, and you never should have, no you never should have, but don't break your back if you ever hear this, well don't answer that...

(See You Soon)

My mind's all screwed and upside down...

2009-06-24T13:14:00.000-04:00

but my heart's on overdrive...

A DAY IN THE LIFE

There aren't a lot of quotably quotable things that my ex-boyfriends have said, but this morning, the words of on ex popped into my head: "Girl, you have the worst luck!" In fact, I've probably heard that from more than one old boyfriend and this morning is a perfect example of why:

6:30ish AM. I've just woken up early at an old college friend's house. I had an interview yesterday in Monroe and decided to spend the night in Athens because by the time I hung out with some friends it was too late to drive the three hours back home. I go through the drive-thru at McDonald's and pick up a large vanilla iced coffee and head out of town via Broad Avenue. I haven't even made it out of Athens, when at a red light, I reach over and pick up my coffee which promptly explodes (and when I say explodes, I truly mean a volcano-like eruption) ALL over me, the car, my phone...me...mostly me. I did this in full view of other drivers, so I'm sure a couple people got a pretty good laugh at my expense this morning. So much coffee erupted all over the car that I was literally sitting in a puddle...which quickly absorbed into my khaki shorts. Much to my embarrassment, I had to pull over at a gas station and clean up. Cleaning up involved pretty much every napkin I could get my hands on, and I have to say I was pretty impressed with my level of "emergency preparedness." I had a change of clothes on hand, a Tide pen, (although I didn't even bother trying to use it on my shorts because they were TOTALLY and COMPLETELY soaked through) and cleaning wipes for leather and car interiors. I had to change in the gas station bathroom and...yeah. So that was a nice, perfect, sticky start to my morning. But my luck didn't end there. Oh no, that would be far too easy. After about an hour and a half of driving, I decided to stop in Gray and go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water. I couldn't have been in the gas station for more than four minutes when I came back out, got in my car and did what anyone else in the world would have done...tried to start my car. Tried being the operative word. After several tries I think, "Okay...time to call Dad." I reach for my phone (which oddly enough has taken on a java-like scent) and much to my chagrin discover that the front display of my EnV2 is not functioning. After a few panic stricken seconds, I figure out how to dial the phone from the inside and eventually got the car to start back up. Needless to say, I eventually made it home, where I later fell down the back steps nearly twisting my ankle and scraping my knee. Point of story: "Girl, you have the worst luck!"

I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless...

2009-06-21T21:39:00.000-04:00

and in this moment I am happy, happy...

Had a good weekend in Florida. Friday night we ate at Famous Dave's in Tallahassee. It was okay, but definitely not the best BBQ I've ever had. Saturday we spent pretty much the entire day in the pool. It was nice to swim, but even the pool water was starting to get hot! I'm so over this heat wave! Saturday night was the Colt Ford concert in Perry. I have to say that at this point, I'm not a huge country fan. These days, I'm listening to more alternative than anything else. Anyway, I was NOT a fan of the opening act David Cooler. This guy had the longest mullet in the free world, was wearing a shirt that he tore the sleeves off of, and sang a song called "Full-Blooded Dog Hunting Man." You could barely understand the words he was singing. He played for a longer period of time than the main act! For those of you not familiar with Colt Ford, he sings "country rap." While this is not a genre that I'm particularly keen on, I went to the concert just because I thought it would be fun. We did have a really good time once the main act finally came on and I was glad that he didn't just sing his songs, which I really wouldn't have known. The set included Colt's "Dirt Road Anthem," The Eagles' "Life in the Fast Lane," The Black Crowes' "Hard to Handle," and the Charlie Daniels Band's "Devil Went Down to Georgia." Anyway, we all had a pretty decent time.

One of the fun moments in my weekend was getting to watch a re-run of the MTV Movie Awards. I heard a lot about how funny host Andy Samberg was, but I laughed pretty much the whole time! One of my favorites was the "Cool Guys Don't Look at Explosions," video. For your viewing pleasure...

This is your life...

2009-06-19T09:47:00.000-04:00

are you who you wanna be?

This weekend I'm headed to Florida to visit my BFF Kansas. Sometime this afternoon, Jason, me, and Kansas' dad, Bo, will all head down to Tallahassee, so that should be fun. I'll fill you in on all the weekend's events later...

**Special Request: I don't want to jinx myself, but I have applied for a job in Athens that I really, really, really want! So far, my chances seem pretty good, so if any of you want to throw any luck or prayers or crossed fingers my way, I'd be grateful! I'll keep y'all posted...**

In other news:

I was shocked and saddened today when I got the news that the legendary Georgia Theatre in downtown Athens was badly damaged by a fire which started last night and continued into this morning. As of now, there is no official statement on the cause of the fire or the extent of the damage. I can still remember the first time I went to the Georgia Theatre when I was in college! I was with Bryan and he wanted to go to this Michael Jackson cover band concert. No one else would go with him, so I went. It was this band called, "Who's Bad" and I still remember that Bryan had to parallel park my car downtown because I couldn't do it! Anyway, that was the first time I went and over the years, I continued to go to concerts there: Corey Smith, The Kinchafoonee Cowboys, Billy Currington, Gary Allen and others. I really hope that the building is salvageable or they at least rebuild a new theatre because it has been such a huge piece of Athens culture and history. If the original building is totally destroyed, a major music landmark has been lost, as the theatre served as the venue for many famous Athens musicians like REM, Corey Smith, and the B-52s. It would be really sad if future generations (and me!) did not get to enjoy music there.

For a second I wish the tide would swallow every inch of this city...

2009-06-17T13:19:00.000-04:00

as you gasp for air tonight....

Since I have been reading all of these old journal entries of mine (dating as far back as 2004) I'm a little unnerved. It's like being introduced to a whole other person. Observations:

I was totally and completely BOY-CRAZY. Every day it was either crap about the on-going James saga or some other random guy I was dating.
I had jaw-dropping gumption. What happened to that girl? I was so confident and sassy, and fun-loving! I'm still opinionated but in my estimation there's just no way as I'm even half as fun as I used to be.
Bryan and I have, for a long time, had the weirdest friendship/whatever you wanna call it. He shows up at the most random times and says the most point-on things about me. Oddly, he can usually sum my problems up in like one abrupt and abrasive sentence. He's been doing it since we were in college! He would pop up out of nowhere and say, "You're still in love with James aren't you?" and after I graduated college, he hit me with, "You're playing it safe these days." And I'm not even going to mention the other things he's said about certain people in my life, because they are so dang true it makes me want to cringe.
I was also relatively uninhibited. I mean, my journals are a veritable tell-all that anyone and everyone could read. In fact, it was a known fact that even girls who hated me read my journal almost every day.

I don't really regret the past two years because I see them as just another part of the evolution, really. And I'm taking this moment to go on the record about my official opinion about this past year in Lee County. I'm not happy at all about the way things went down. The only thing that has kept me from totally going off about the way I have been treated is the fact that I truly did love my kids (students) this year and I'm glad I got to work with them. But officially, I don't really consider LC my hometown anymore. I'm disappointed and angry. The only reason that it's easy for me to let go of it all is because I truly am starting to see what happened as a wake up call. Maybe I wasn't living a life that I really wanted to live. I just want to get back some of the girl I was when I was in college. I'm only 23 and if everything fun in my life is over, I see that as pretty sad. And the flat truth was that certain aspects of teaching (mostly related to the people I worked with and not my students) were killing my personality. I felt stifled and trapped and criticized and to be truthful, I'm glad it's over. It's just sad that people are willing to lose a teacher who is creative and excited about her kids just because she doesn't fit into what they think she should be. I tried but in the end I just couldn't sell out. And that's what I wanted my kids to walk away with -- you have to be true to who you are. There are times when you will feel like you are losing either way, but you just have to step up and be who you are. When it all first went down I cried for days, weeks even. I felt betrayed and I honestly felt like people were stealing something big from me. Now I see that this disaster wasn't the end of me, but a fresh beginning. I don't want to waste this chance...

Water under the bridge, I guess that's all life really is...

2009-06-16T13:11:00.000-04:00

I'm currently in the process of trying to go through my old Xanga and cut and paste the entries so I can delete my site. I was about to delete the whole thing without thinking twice and then I realized that I wrote on it every day for nearly, um...two years or something. It's pretty much my journal, so I want to save what I wrote there.

Anyway, stumbled across this and thought it was worth repeating. The game is that you answer all the questions and tag someone else to post on their blog. //PS// On the first question, you are supposed to insert the name of the person who tagged you. Since I got this from my old site, I'm just going to use the name of the person I'm tagging.

TAG....YOU'RE IT

If I could be Crystal Parten I would revel in my good looks, brilliance, and great marriage! What a lucky girl!

If I could be a government employee...I would probably try to seriously reform public education. More creative teachers!

If I could be a scientist... I would probably be the worst scientist ever since I don't know ANYTHING about science.

If I could be a farmer... I would have a flock (is that right?) of peacocks. Just because I think they're pretty.

If I could be a musician... I would to rock out with Bono and U2! So cool!

If I could be a doctor... I would frequently be grossed out and probably quit my job since I hate hospitals.

If I could be a painter... I would paint UGA prints and art.

If I could be a gardener... I would breed plants that would take care of themselves!

If I could be a missionary... I would like to work with young kids from other countries.

If I could be a chef... I would go to Italy and learn more about Italian cooking.

If I could be an architect... I would design my dream home.

If I could be a linguist... I would teach classes on proper English speaking.

If I could be a psychologist... I would probably roll my eyes and laugh behind my patient's backs

If I could be a librarian... I would institute a rule that you can actually speak, laugh, and have a good time in the library! Why not?

If I could be an athlete… I would be a stellar tennis player, with a hot bod (like Anna Kournikova) AND talent (like Steffi Graf)

If I could be a lawyer… I would reform divorce/family law

If I could be an innkeeper… I would open a seaside inn somewhere down in Florida or somewhere Tropical

If I could be a professor… I would be really entertaining, and probably not hold class every other Friday.

If I could be a writer... One day I will be a writer, my book will be entertaining, a sort of memoir, laced with advice and entertainment...this year's tentative title - "A Fractured Fairy-Tale."

If I could be a llama-rider… I would read about llamas, so I could understand better what llama riding entails.

If I could be a bonnie pirate… I would hang out with Captain Jack Sparrow!

If I could be a service member… I would be in the Marines, just like my Dad, of course!

If I could be a photographer… I would specialize in photographing children! I love taking pics of kids.

If I could be a philanthropist... I would probably raise money for the protection of our Oceans...

If I could be a rap artist… I would walk around throwing random gang signs, and probably end up getting a cap busted in me.

If I could be a child actor… I would have been adorable and funny, brilliant of course, leading to my adult career.

If I could be a secret agent... I would investigate gangs and/or the mafia.

If I could be a comedian/comedienne... I would work with Steve Martin and Chevy Chase, two of my favorites.

If I could be a priest... I would spend more time confessing my own sins than listening to other people confess

If I could be a radio announcer... I would spend as much time playing music as I did talking

If I could be a phlebotomist..... I would go to the nearest dictionary and find out exactly what my job is supposed to be...

If I could be a pet store owner... I wouldn't sell snakes or spiders! YUCK

If I could be a computer programmer... I would make a better, cheaper program that would give Bill Gates a run for his money...or...I would just work for Bill Gates. Lol

If I could be a police officer... I would pull more people over for driving slow than I would for speeding.

If I could be a politician... I probably wouldn't make it far because I'm TOO honest.

If I could be a mom... I would probably be a cross between Martha Stewart and Lynette Schavo on Desp. Housewives. "Hey kids, lets make crafts...OH MY GOD are you crazy what are you doing NOW??"

If I could be an underwater basket weaver... I would set up office on the coral reef.....

If I could be a reality TV host... I would host the Bachelor and make fun of all those dummies lookin' for love on the Boob Tube

If I could be a forensic pathologist... I would read up on old cases that I found interesting.

If I could be a TV show writer... I would write for Rescue Me so I could work with all those hot guys!

If I could be a dictator of a small country... I would require that everyone learn how to chew their food as quietly and properly as possible.

If I could be a ice cream store owner... I would have my store on the bay in San Diego in Seaport Village.

If I could be a teacher... I would teach in a school where diversity is embraced, people believe in using new approaches, and the students are the top priority!

If I could be a magician.... I would learn card tricks, and how to win at cards.

I tag Crystal!

My Favorite Things Right Now

2009-06-15T11:57:00.001-04:00

Inspired by my dear friend Crystal Parten's post, I decided to mimic her and post a list of my favorite things right now.

SATELLITE. As many of you know I am a cheapskate/trogolodite who has consistently refused to pay for cable. And for the most part, I had forgotten what I was missing until moving back to my parents' this summer. With a 52' flat screen, satellite, and high definition at my disposal, I've been having what the Brits like to call "a jolly good time!" Probably the channel I watched the most when I was in college, I have recently reconnected with E! this summer and I'm remembering all the reasons I love this channel so much! The Soup with Joel McHale and Chelsea Lately with Chelsea Handler are quickly becoming two routines simply for the chuckle factor. Re-runs of The Girls Next Door and E! True Hollywood Story are also staples for my lazy summer days! Other favs: Oxygen's Snapped (a true crime series documenting women who "snap") Discovery's Mythbusters (if you don't know about this show you seriously need to find out) and of course, my new fav FX's Rescue Me.

BEHIND THE HEDGES. There's nothing I love more than a dishy summer read, and I had no idea when I picked up this book, Behind the Hedges by journalist Rich Whitt, that I would find the dishiest book I've read so far this summer. I was obviously enticed by my alumni pride and interest in all things UGA, but this book is interesting for anyone who has ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes at a flagship school like the University of Georgia. So far, I think the books takes a fairly anti-Adams (as in Michael Adams, president of UGA) stance, but no matter your personal opinions, the book is definitely an intriguing read, covering all manner of controversy and insider information from a private audit of Adams' controversial spending of UGA Foundation funds to the public affair between gymnastics coach Suzanne Yoculan and married millionaire and Board of Regents member Don Leebern. I won't go as far as stating my own opinions, but like I said, the book is entertaining at the very least and worth a peek to Georgia fans/alumni/students or anyone else looking for dishy gossip.

ILE DE TAHITI PRODUCTS. It's that time of year when I begin to wish I could spend every day at the beach, or at least poolside, but being located in land-locked Southwest Georgia, sans pool does nothing for my beachy mood. For help, I turn to Bob Marley, Organix Coconut Milk Shampoo and Conditioner, and now, Ile de Tahiti products from Bath and Body Works. I have the Bora Bora sand scrub and the Moana body wash (both in Tiare Flower) and I love the way they make me feel tropical...it sounds corny, but hey, when you're not a billionaire beach bum, you do what you can...

ORGANIZING MY LIFE (OR, MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE PAPER THAT GOES WITH MY LIFE.)
The end of May was a lot of work for me. School was ending and I had way more to do than grade exams and finalize grades. Not coming back in the Fall meant completely cleaning out a year's worth of paperwork, decorations, and furniture from my packed out classroom. It took me several consecutive weeks just to take down all the posters and decorations and by the time I had hauled the last bits of paper and otherwise from my room, my life had taken on what Robin Williams so memorably described as "a refugee motif...you know, fleeing my homelands." Between a storage unit, my SUV and my room at my parents' my life (and the evidence of it) was unorganized and scattered everywhere. It's nowhere near perfect yet, but this weekend I took a lot of time to organize the massive stacks of paper that were taking over my room. I'm getting there and it's motivating to keep moving forward...

"The Suck Zone"

2009-06-09T09:13:00.000-04:00

For those of you who are fans of the 1996 blockbuster Twister: this one's for you. I still remember, I was, what...11 years old when we went to see this movie in theatres. It seemed like every family in the neighborhood had gone, because shortly thereafter we all descended on the corner hill to reenact the thrill of storm chasing. Of course, our most high tech equipment was a broad array of nerf guns and empty supersoakers, and the tornadoes were all in our heads....

Anyway, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there with a slightly unrealistic (or is it morbid?) fascination with tornado videos. After all, we can only marvel at what we can't begin to comprehend...

Thusly, I present the following clip from the Today Show, which in turn shows footage captured by the Weather Channel of a tornado in Wyoming.

Here's another penny and there's another chance...

2009-06-06T11:00:00.000-04:00

Try to learn a lesson but you can't...

It's been a bit since I've posted - but not for lack of things to say! Everything's changing. It's a strange mix. A little bit of frustration, a few parts of trying not to look back, and double doses of daydreaming about the future. I've not felt this free in a long time. People say that you're never free until you lose everything and it kind of creeps me out that nothing could be truer.

"Until you lose your reputation you never really realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is."

-Margaret Mitchell

Since I'm a little superstitious and always afraid of jinxing myself, I'll save my future plans for another post. For now I'll stick to personal recommendations.

Listen

Most people know the All-American Rejects for their feel-good Move Along but I was truly pleased when I purchased their latest album When the World Comes Down. I originally was drawn to the oft-played single Gives You Hell but my current favorite from the album is a fast-paced song called Breakin'. Not only is the music good, but the lyrics are really...liberating. If any song spells out my mood these days perfectly, it's this one. Check it out! "

Now if you really want to talk about a picture perfect song that seems to have been engineered with my state of mind in mind, 23 by Jimmy Eat World is that song. This song has been mesmerizing me since I was in college but it didn't hit me until this 23rd year of my life that wow - suddenly these lyrics feel very real and very raw to me. "Amazing still it seems - I'll be 23, I won't always love what I'll never have, I won't always live in my regrets, you'll sit alone forever if you wait for the right time, what are you hoping for?" Having all the right ingredients: hauntingly beautiful music and great lyrics, this song is definitely worth listening to.

Read

No matter how many times I read this book or watch the movie, I never get tired how this story is relatively simple, and yet, so full of complexity. I think this one-hundred page novel is one of the most honest pictures of the complexities of personal relationships. This was my first year teaching this book, which I had to fight tooth and nail for. No one ever wants to branch out and try any new books but I was bound and determined to teach this book at least once in my lifetime. If I'm being honest, some readers (like my students) may have a hard time getting past the lengthy fishing related passages, but at the heart of this novel is the story of an American family. I'm not sure I've ever read any other hundred page book that has managed to be so poetic. "How can a question be answered that asks a lifetime of questions?" Quotes like this one abound in this picturesque and moving novel. Most impressive? The author, Norman Maclean wrote this autobiographical story at age 70 and the book, published by the University of Chicago Press, gained little to no attention until Robert Redford picked it up and decided that it was a story worth telling.

I've only just started reading Belong to Me by Marisa de los Santos,

but I'm already enjoying the format. By now, it's not a new way of writing (what ever is truly new?) but that doesn't mean that it isn't fun and interesting. If I had anything to compare it to, oddly I'd choose one of my longtime favorite shows, Desperate Housewives. Belong to Me tells the stories of residents of a small Pennsylvania suburb from many different perspectives. Part and parcel, each resident of the neighborhood fills a different role. Piper Truitt plays the preppy and perfect "Stepford Wife" who is also surprisingly complex and interesting. Cornelia Brown steps out as the neighborhood newcomer/misfit. Can she adjust to suburbia after leaving the hustle and bustle of New York City behind? There are also chapters written from the perspective of the neighborhood's various children. This book keeps you entertained with stereotypes and changing perspectives; it's entertainment factor + a healthy dose of deeply running emotions make this a great summer pick.

Side note: I love the book cover. Genius!

And just for fun...

Top 5 Most-Played Songs on my i-Pod:
1. I Love College - Asher Roth (Okay, so I'm not always intellectual and emotional...)
2. Ain't No Mountain High Enough - Marvin Gaye & Tammi Terrell (a classic)
3. Gives You Hell - All-American Rejects (clearly I want to give someone some hell)
4. Love the World You Find - Flaming Lips (this song just makes me feel inspired)
5. Lost+ - Coldplay with Jay-Z (if I had an anthem for the past year, this would be it)

The strangest kind of love...

2009-05-26T19:25:00.000-04:00

I'm posting some lyrics to a song I have loved since I first heard it in high school. I remember loving the video (link also posted below) and yet the song never touched me before like it does now. I'm in this song...if that makes any sense. The past few months have been hard for me and sometimes I can't quite articulate how I feel and yet this song so succinctly says everything I want to say and don't know how to. Everything that hurts and that I can't explain.

I especially mean to address this to one person in particular who will probably never read this. It's something I've somehow wanted to say to this person for something like five long years. In the strangest, strongest way I feel like we don't know each other at all sometimes, and this person knows me more than anyone ever will. I never expected this person to be a comfort to me now and yet somehow this person is, and in the strangest way. And I'm strangely comforted by the fact that we both are on equal footing in the space between. Nothing more than what's already there...and yet, nothing less. "We're strange allies, with warring hearts...the space between the wicked lies we tell...the space between what's wrong and right is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you..."

You cannot quit me so quickly
There's no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The Space Between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we're playing
We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The Space Between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep safe from the pain
Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...
Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down
The Space Between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get to go
The Space Between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you
The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into...
The Space Between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain
Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here
Love is all we need here
The Space Between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you
The Space Between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The Space Between...

--The Dave Matthews Band--

Watch the video HERE

I Love College Redeux??

2009-05-07T17:20:00.000-04:00

Just when you thought Asher Roth's college kid anthem couldn't get any better...while perusing USA Today's sports blog Game On! I found an interesting response to "I Love College."

If you're not familiar with Stephen Curry, he's the NCAA's current hot shot headed for the Pro's. With parents like Dell and Sonya Curry (Dad was former NBA and Mom a volleyball player) it isn't surprising that Curry's got skills. This point guard for the Davidson Wildcats averaged something like 29 points a game and has decided to leave college and go pro. In a press conference discussing his decision, Curry shows a lot of dedication to his craft when he expresses that he's heard he could be selected in anywhere from the 7th to 20th pick in the draft, but hopes that workouts in the next few weeks will "improve [his] stock." Some have doubts about Curry's ability to succeed in the NBA based on the fact that he was not courted by ACC schools when entering college and he's of smaller stature than most players.

But, whether you like the kid or not, you've gotta love the latest news, which is Curry's participation in a collaborative remake of Asher Roth's "I Love College." Dubbed "I Love Commons," the video featuring various Davidson students sings the praises of the school's dining hall. It's wicked clever and a must see, so check it out below!